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Life-limiting illness

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Need a handhold, what to expect

3 replies

swishswashswoosh · 03/11/2022 20:39

Hi wise MNers. My wonderful father was given a stage 4 bowel cancer diagnosis at the end of July. Long story the nhs were a fucking disgrace for at least 6months prior but that is a separate story, I only add it here because I will give very short shrift to anyone extolling how great it is.

They have, yesterday, decided to stop any treatment and he is moving to only palliative symptom management. He was getting a good response from the chemo but he is weak and even though the main tumour is shrinking on it his symptoms of a full bowel obstruction has jumped a level and seems to be getting worse. He has no secondary metastases, it is all just around the small bowel but it is tangled with the blood vessels to the whole of the bowel making surgery not an option.

He is on tpn so enough calories are going in, but the bowel obstruction means he is being sick and he isn't passing wind. The doctors have given him a prognosis now of weeks, a couple of months if he is lucky.

Can someone with any more experience tell me what I may expect? If that's even possible. He is 75, previously (as recently as July) was one of the youngest and fittest 75year olds around. I am just in complete shock and utterly utterly heartbroken.

What can the palliative team actually do? Just drug him up so he's a zombie until he dies? Currently he is tired but completely lucid and chatty when he is awake. Doesn't have the strength to go for a walk but can wander round the house once he is up fine enough. The surgeon yesterday suggested reducing the calorific load in the tpn but that surely is just going to starve him to death. This last suggestion may summarise the care we have received so far....

If you made it to the end, thank you.

OP posts:
LivinLaVidaLoki · 04/11/2022 06:55

When my mum reached end of life care with cancer, it was mostly drugs given for pain relief. However they did find a balance and she was still lucid and could go out (albeit with a wheelchair as she was very weak) for a short while. I'm glad I got that brief time to spend with her.
She did then deteriorate quickly and so the drugs increased and she was just not "with us" at all at the end.
Sorry I hope that's not too harsh x

Badger1970 · 06/11/2022 20:58

My Dad was messed about for nearly 6 months....his GP diagnosed Long Covid Hmm it took Dad collapsing and spending 18 hours in A & E then a week being starved on a ward to get the liver cancer diagnosis. I'm going to go nuclear when this is all over but my energy right now is for Dad. He was past treatment by the time the cancer was found..........

The palliative nurse we've been assigned has been a lifeline. She's warm, caring, rings me to check I'm ok as well as Dad. Medication changes are promptly dealt with and it's meant we can bypass the GP. They've put a care package into place, and are arranging a respite stay in a hospice. They're nothing to fear, honestly.

I'm so sorry you're going through this too Flowers

Ravageur · 09/11/2022 17:11

When this happened to my mum she had a stoma fitted and with it she lived another 9 months

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