Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice.
I am a mobile massage therapist and I am concerned about one of my clients.
She is elderly, has COPD and is house bound and reliant on manual oxygen and mask to help her breath.
When I first arrived at her house, I was astounded by her conditions. The house was messy and filthy with thick dirt. I had to make some sort of space for the bed, and obviously asked her if she had carers etc. She said yes, so I had kind of hoped that maybe it had just been a while since they came and that the situation would be rectified. Before I left, I asked her if she needed me to do anything for her before I leave. She was adamant she was fine.
The second time I visited, it was the same if not worse. She seemed overwhelmed and apologised. She was upset and asked if we could not proceed with the massage because she wasn't feeling mentally ok.
After a chat, I asked her more about her care and it transpires that she has been paying through a scheme for her help, but the carers hardly visit. Her food in the fridge was out of date also.
I made her a cup of tea, then with her permission, I cleaned her room, changed bedding etc.
She was so grateful, but seemed to struggle with the idea of someone helping her. Obviously I didnt charge her, and I told her that she shouldn't be living like this, she is entitled to help and that I was more than happy to contact the relevant people on her behalf. She thanked me and said she will send me details that evening.
The whole weekend I couldn't get this off of my mind. She has no family or friends, cannot talk for more than a few seconds without her apparatus and quite frankly, her environment is a complete health hazard (wires all over the place, awful smell in the house, wrappers, thick dust and dirt).
I messaged her and said I have some new bedding for her (hers is thin and ripped) and a few home comforts for her that I'd managed to rally round and get from friends and family. She thanked me, but later messaged to say "why do I find it hard to accept help. I'm so sorry but I feel like I cant accept help even though I need it"
My dilemma is that if she were a child in need, it would be a no brainer, but as an adult I'm guessing I can't contact authorities with my concern without her permission? Plus she seems to be resisting the help that she so clearly needs. I don't know if its because she is too proud, or because she feels it's her responsibility? I have made it very clear to her that I do not want payment of any kind from her and that it is her basic right to get the help she needs and deserves. She is such a lovely woman and I'm struggling to think of her getting through this winter living as she is.
What do I or can I do in this situation?
Thank you.