In dying stage - pancreatic cancer

[Lushmetender]

Macmillan nurse has said she thinks my dad is now in dying stage. She said could last days to weeks. He is v sleepy most of the time - only really being vaguely conscious to go to loo or have something (very little) to eat. Nurse was going to decide whether to sedate him but she has decided against it for the moment. Can you tell me what this means exactly? Sometimes he will chat for a little while - mainly instructions for what he wants but if sedated, does this mean until he passes? Would he be fully unconscious from now till then? I don’t want him in pain but equally want to ensure we can still talk to him? Any experiences you can give me here? A syringe driver is there if we need to use it. Df is not agitated yet but I hear this can happen?

My dear DM had pancreatic cancer and in the last few days the palliative care team installed a syringe driver of painkillers and antianxiety meds (the "justincase" package as they called it) and she remained fairly lucid though drowsy until about 30mins before she stopped breathing very peacefully with us holding her hands. We said everything we needed to by then and just needed to hold her hand so she could let go of her life. She wanted to die at home and the PC end of life nursing team enabled us to be able to help her do that.

I'm sorry about your situation OP. My father died from pancreatic cancer 5 years ago. He would eat less and less until he stopped eating altogether and was only taking a little liquid. He had daily doses of morphine which made him sleep a lot, but when he was awake he was completely lucid. Will he be staying at home, or do you have a hospice planned?

Your dad will probably stop taking food at some point and be on only fluids, and will continue to sleep a lot if on lots of meds. This period can potentially go on for a good few weeks. I was surprised how my dad was lasting on so little nourishment. Eventually he started taking less fluids too and his speech became more difficult to understand as his mouth was dry. The nurses seem to know when it's right near the end because their breathing changes and becomes more shallow.

I wish you strength for the weeks and days ahead, and hope your dad has a peaceful passing when the time comes.

Ask the nurse, She's there to help and advice the patients family carers too. Write down all your questions; and IF she's in a rush just hand her the list and say " Here's some things on my mind, can we talk about this next time? "

Talk to your dad, and ask him what his wishes are for the last stage. What physical factors worry him most, , whether he wants to be heavily sedated.

He wants to die at home but has left it up to us if we couldn’t look after him. We talked to nurse re hospice but said it would be cruel to move him now. He has care nurses am and pm but we Are tag teaming the nights as of now, he is waking up to To the loo. Nurse said emptying of bowels can be a sign the end is near but he was constipated for A while and so had laxido hoping it would relieve cramps. He tells us he is having conversations with people and then he realises they aren’t there! Makes it hard to plan but luckily we have Marie curie nurses coming in this weekend for the first time so we may get a night off. Hard juggling job, 3 kids and making sure my dad has company