Pancreatic cancer

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DSis has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, a week ago. It has spread rapidly and she has been given just a few months. Her pain is currently managed with a syringe driver, and oral medication on top. My heart is breaking for her, and her young children, and for the rest of us.
I work in EOL and palliative care, and so none of this is new to me but it’s so different having my sister going through it all.
She will start treatment next week to hopefully give her more time.

She’d started talking about a bucket list when she first became unwell, thinking that we’d have more time. I want to do things with her, and for her, and with her younger children so that they’ll always remember her.

I feel like this post doesn’t even make much sense, but I hope it does.

So sorry to read this. What kind of things would she like to do?

I'm really sorry, one of my closest friends had pancreatic cancer a few years ago and died within three months of her diagnosis.
She had a stent inserted & a syringe driver for symptom control.
She had some plans but never felt well enough to go anywhere or do anything. She wanted to get her affairs in order which she did so I think that put her mind at rest.
It was a relief that she went quickly and didn't suffer for too long but obviously heart breaking for those left behind.

Hi OP, this is awful news. My mum had the same diagnosis and I’m sorry this is happening to your sister. Your knowledge and experience mean you know more than most and I wish you courage.

I have found that just waiting for that first awful shock to pass means you will be able to think more clearly. I found the simplest activities were best at first - talking about shared memories, sitting in a garden, watching a favourite old film and looking at photo albums. My mum didn’t have much time but we were able to talk about what was important to her. I was able to reassure her about some things and remind her of good times.

Remember you are a huge resource for your dear sister. She needs you so you must look after yourself. Eat. Rest. Walk outside even for a little while.

In a short while she may well want to go somewhere or do something special. I’m keeping fingers crossed that you will be able to do this with her.

My aunt, my mum’s sister, was absolutely amazing and made everything a thousand times better than it might have been. Your sister will be blessed by your presence in the same way.

Thank you all for your replies. I didn’t mean to post and run, I think I got a bit overwhelmed. This all feels like a bad dream.

So sorry to hear of your losses too

I know how you feel. My DM woke from surgery in February for them to say they hadn't operated on her cancer because of what they found and that quality of life was the main aim now. She asked her surgeon to tell me and DF as she couldnt and the shock was awful. It took me some time to adjust - I was waking every morning just hoping it had all gone away, but of course it hadn't.

We managed a week together as a family a fortnight ago. We stayed in and air b and b near her and DF. My DM is much older than your Dsis

My dad died of pancreatic cancer 12 years ago and I’m so sorry you have this journey to navigate now. It’s brutal.

One thing I wish we’d done to improve his quality of life in his last months was to quit all sugar, refined carbs, junk food crap and not eaten anything that made the pancreas have to work (insulin production)

It’s no way a cure but I have had so many stories since in how it prolongs life and definitely quality of life

Some info here

And here