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Life-limiting illness

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How do you cope with negativity/depression?

3 replies

alltheseasons · 15/02/2022 12:29

DF has been in hospital more than he's been out for several months having chemo - He's waiting on a stem cell transplant.

I'm doing my best for him, in the sense that I see him every day, take him out, cook meals for him etc (the rest of the family do help when they can but I tend to be the default person)

He is very down, he's been through a hell of a lot so it's perfectly understandable. He's been offered counselling but tells them he's fine when clearly he isn't. The problem is, it's starting to affect my MH as well, whenever I'm with him he's constantly sighing and huffing.

I've been through a similar situation with dm, in that she was terminally ill but even near the end, she stayed positive and seemed to get pleasure from spending time with the family, eating good food etc. I just feel completely helpless with DF, it's like whatever I say or do makes no difference 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
alltheseasons · 15/02/2022 18:40

Anyone?

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MrsDoraDumble · 15/02/2022 22:31

This does sounds really hard. Do you think he would take the counselling offer if you pushed it more? Is he under the care of a nurse who can assess his mental health and do the referral directly? Could you be there in the meeting when it is discussed to give them a more rounded view on how he is coping? It sounds like you’re doing a marvellous job, and he’s really lucky to have you and all the lovely things you do. I’m sorry it’s so tough, I hope he does reach out as you can’t shoulder all of this. 💐💐

alltheseasons · 15/02/2022 23:31

I'm hoping I'll be allowed in for the next appointment (I've been allowed in some and not others)

I've spoken to him again about the counselling, but he says they can't do anything about his situation (I've explained they might be able to help him with coping strategies etc)

I don't want to let him know I'm finding it hard, as he will think he's a burden, it's very tricky.

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