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Pancreatic cancer inoperable - how long

91 replies

Lushmetender · 18/01/2022 13:22

DF is 75. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Biopsy was inconclusive but big changes between biopsy and ct scan 4 weeks later. Told chemo won’t make any difference and he’s just lost my mum so don’t think he wants any messing seeing what she went through. Wheels have set in motion for assistance in his local town at home. He’s dotting between his house and ours while he is still able. Has constant dull pains which keep him awake despite meds. He doesn’t think he’ll see past Easter. Saw my gp and she warned it will be v quick so get all affairs in order which he is doing. He’s lost 4 stone in a year. Anyone experienced this and how quick was their deterioration. We have a couple of things planned in coming weeks but I was wondering what to expect and what is it that usually causes the issues eg tumours on vital organs etc? Would love him to have a little quality time but we are just doing our usual routine. Kids don’t know due to having just lost their granny. Any insight would be helpful

OP posts:
WhenDovesFly · 26/04/2022 09:30

Hi OP, you're doing an amazing job. How lucky your DF is to have such a caring daughter. Sounds like your DH is doing his bit too, and that will make the world of difference to you, I'm sure.

From what you say about dehydration and difficulty swallowing, the end may not be too far away now. The nurses can usually tell from how the breathing changes in the final hours, becoming gradually more shallow.

One thing I will share about my own hospice experience. My DF couldn't get in as soon as he wanted to due to no bed space. They finally managed to admit him and the process of moving him was awful - he was in so much pain by then. Even though the ambulance staff tried their best to be gentle, I could see it was causing my DF so much discomfort. He was admitted at around 11am and died the following morning at 4am. Because he'd been in the hospice less than 24hrs when he died, his death had to be referred to the coroner which delayed his funeral by a couple of weeks. I hope your DF can get into hospice soon. Thinking of you at this time Flowers.

WhenDovesFly · 26/04/2022 09:36

Hi OP, you're doing an amazing job and your DF is fortunate to have such a caring daughter. Sounds as though your DH is a good support to, which is invaluable.

From what you say about dehydration and difficulty swallowing, the end may not be too far away now. The nurses will know from the changes in breathing when he's in his final hours as it becomes more shallow.

I will share something about my own hospice experience. My dad couldn't get in straight away either, due to no bed space. Once he could finally go in, he was admitted approximately 11am and died the following morning at 4am. As he'd been in hospice less than 24hrs his death had to be referred to the coroner, which delayed his funeral by a few weeks. I hope that's not the case for you.

Thinking of you during these difficult days Flowers

AlexaShutUp · 26/04/2022 10:12

So sorry, OP. It is a cruel disease.

I have lost two people to this horrible cancer. The first died around six weeks after diagnosis. The second was seemingly quite well and living a full life until she was diagnosed but went downhill unbelievably quickly, and passed away just a week after diagnosis. It was a terrible shock for those who loved her, but mercifully quick for her I suppose.

I wish you and your dad well.

AlexaShutUp · 26/04/2022 10:12

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AlexaShutUp · 26/04/2022 10:13

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AlexaShutUp · 26/04/2022 10:14

Apologies for the multiple posts...I kept getting server error messages.

Benmac · 26/04/2022 16:02

So sincerely sorry that your DF and you are going through this. When my DS stopped chemo she lasted another 6 weeks. Only advice I can give is make sure he gets all the pain meds possible.

GremlinDolphin4 · 26/04/2022 21:06

So sorry Op. My lovely Aunt was diagnosed in the Feb and died in the November. Much love to you.

Lushmetender · 27/04/2022 16:08

Thx all. He has been taken to hospice now thankfully. DH and I were struggling at the end. Going to see him tonight when my DH gets back as he was there last night. He couldn’t rouse him this morning and his 02 levels on a home device we have reading v low. Care team reckoned we needed to see him today the way he is so I’m guess we are talking a few days maximum now. Unless he surprises us! Macmillan nurse is surprised he is still here. He was definitely delirious yesterday and confused yesterday

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 27/04/2022 16:18

I'm thinking of you

Flux1 · 27/04/2022 16:48

Thinking of you and your Dad. Well done on getting him into the hospice. Look after yourself x

thegreylady · 27/04/2022 16:49

My dear friend was diagnosed mid July and died Nov 1st. He was 69.

MrsHGWells · 27/04/2022 17:10

Well done, so pleased hospice care is in place, .. you have been an incredible source of strength for your dad, and you will have some
peace of mind he now has 24/7 care so you can recharge and have more quality handholding in the final days.

TitsInAbsentia · 27/04/2022 17:51

I'm so sorry to hear this. It is brutally fast, I'm not sure if that's because it seems to be a tricky one to diagnose - it was certainly that for my grandfather who was poorly for maybe six months, and then once we had the diagnoses we had about 8 weeks.

DFOD · 27/04/2022 20:50

I am glad that you have managed to get the hospice support needed and hope that he has as gentle and peaceful passing as possible.

greyinganddecaying · 27/04/2022 21:00

So sorry OP. Glad to hear you have hospice care sorted. Sending you Flowers

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