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Original poster

Pancreatic cancer inoperable - how long

91 replies

Lushmetender · 18/01/2022 13:22

DF is 75. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Biopsy was inconclusive but big changes between biopsy and ct scan 4 weeks later. Told chemo won’t make any difference and he’s just lost my mum so don’t think he wants any messing seeing what she went through. Wheels have set in motion for assistance in his local town at home. He’s dotting between his house and ours while he is still able. Has constant dull pains which keep him awake despite meds. He doesn’t think he’ll see past Easter. Saw my gp and she warned it will be v quick so get all affairs in order which he is doing. He’s lost 4 stone in a year. Anyone experienced this and how quick was their deterioration. We have a couple of things planned in coming weeks but I was wondering what to expect and what is it that usually causes the issues eg tumours on vital organs etc? Would love him to have a little quality time but we are just doing our usual routine. Kids don’t know due to having just lost their granny. Any insight would be helpful

OP posts:
BashStreetKid · 18/01/2022 16:54

I'm so sorry to hear about this, OP. For a friend of ours, it was around 6 months from diagnosis to death - he as in his 50s and reasonably fit. He did however continue working (because he wanted to) until not long before he died.

For what it's worth, and I know it's really difficult for you, but it may be merciful for him in light of your mother's death. My mother had a stroke around three months after my father's death but was found and treated, and went on to live another ten utterly miserable years when she was constantly saying she wanted to be dead. I've always felt that nature really intended her to die when she had the stroke.

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 01/02/2022 19:34

Took about eight weeks for my nana from diagnosis, it's a very quick disease Sad

BornIn78 · 01/02/2022 19:39

So sorry OP, my grandad was diagnosed on 24th September and died on 21st October.

He was awake and alert and on no pain medication at all, just mild sedation, right up until the last 48 hours. His tumour grew to where it was blocking his bile duct and the most alarming thing for me was that he went very yellow in his last week.

I hope it's as pain free as possible for him.

Brunonononooo · 01/02/2022 19:43

I’m so sorry about this, my dad died six weeks after diagnosis. He was only 58. It’s an awful disease.

deleteasappropriate · 01/02/2022 20:12

My ex-SIL was two years post diagnosis and only 49. The best pain relief included paracetamol every four hours (sorry I can't remember the full details but my daughter was her cater, and taking paracetamol made a huge difference). She fought hard and lived her life to its fullest extent, including going to Florida one last time with her family and heading to Egypt. Anne was absolutely inspirational to everyone who knew her. Make the most of each day and I hope for an easy passing ❤️

KitKat1985 · 01/02/2022 20:15

I'm really sorry but it may only be a matter of weeks. Pancreatic cancer can be very aggressive.

deleteasappropriate · 01/02/2022 20:16

Also please take the MacMillan support offered - they were absolutely awesome with their advice and help. If you would like to be in touch with family members that can be arranged, but totally understand if you need to sort everything yourself.

Staryflight445 · 01/02/2022 20:21

My mum passed around 4 weeks after diagnosis. She refused chemotherapy.

I’m so sorry op, it’s a horrendous diagnosis and really horrible to watch such deterioration.

Staryflight445 · 01/02/2022 20:22

My mum was 55.

foofooyeah · 01/02/2022 20:23

Such a sad thread. Thoughts are with you OP.

Like others my Dad was around 3 months.

toddlertired · 01/02/2022 20:25

So sorry OP. My MIL had similar diagnosis in March 2020 and she died early August. That first lockdown really sucked. It was quite quick to advance, I think by the middle of May she obviously was struggling to walk far and found it hard to concentrate on conversations. She spent a bit of time in a hospice and for most of her last 6 weeks she slept a lot. It was so hard, be kind to yourself I really wish none of us had to see our loved ones go through this horrible disease.

CaMePlaitPas · 01/02/2022 20:26

I'm so sorry OP, wishing you strength x

Sidneysussex · 01/02/2022 20:27

we had 5 weeks from diagnosis to death. Absolutely no quality time In those awful weeks.
Get everything in order ASAP. I'm so sorry x

Kitfish · 01/02/2022 20:35

I'm sorry to hear this OP.

My DF was diagnosed in March and passed away in October of the same year. He struggled to eat and lost a lot of weight.

It's a horrible disease. Flowers

WhatsWrongWithMyUsername · 01/02/2022 20:55

I’m so so sorry.

My dad was 6 months from diagnosis to dying. He was supposed to have chemo but by the time they sorted all the tests etc he was too far advanced.

The worst times were when he had pain. Breakthrough pain between painkiller doses. That’s the kind of thing to talk to the palliative care team about early as I think it should be avoidable.

Say what you want to say to him now. Flowers

lljkk · 01/02/2022 21:08

May I tag on a question -- hope this is ok.
People talk about time from diagnosis to passing away.
What about time from diagnosis until they need full time support until they can't potter around any more without a lot of help how many weeks was this?

I think that's a quality of life marker I'd like to know.

Aspergirl77 · 01/02/2022 21:12

My dad was 6 weeks from diagnosis, spent the last 5 weeks in hospital. He was only 54 and had previously been fit and well his whole life, so it was a major shock.

Plump82 · 01/02/2022 21:18

@lljkk

May I tag on a question -- hope this is ok. People talk about time from diagnosis to passing away. What about time from diagnosis until they need full time support until they can't potter around any more without a lot of help how many weeks was this?

I think that's a quality of life marker I'd like to know.

My dad was diagnosed in the October and passed away the following Dec. He was very unwell before diagnosis and was frail and walking with a stick for a good while. It was around the 6 month mark that things got really bad for him and he was bed bound and was more or less there till the week before his death when he was taken to the hospice.
bloodywhitecat · 01/02/2022 21:20

@lljkk

May I tag on a question -- hope this is ok. People talk about time from diagnosis to passing away. What about time from diagnosis until they need full time support until they can't potter around any more without a lot of help how many weeks was this?

I think that's a quality of life marker I'd like to know.

DH turned yellow in the first lockdown, when he finally saw a consultant in June 2020 he was told it was most likely cancer and most likely pancreatic.

He had surgery (Whipple's) in Oct 2020 (and liver mets were found), he was told 6 months even with chemo. He started chemo 24th Dec 2020 Merry fucking Christmas hey and it wasn't successful in terms of shrinkage but he felt well on it and continued to live a full and normal life.

In August 2021 the tumours were growing again and his CA19-9 was rising, the decision was taken to hold fire on chemo and wait for a medical trial.

On Nov20th 2021 he had a massive stroke and all further treatment is now off the cards. He is home on palliative care and he is being looked after by Marie Curie and the local hospice. I firmly believe that if the stroke had been prevented (he showed signs of a DVT in the run up) then he would still be fighting the disease. Dh was 55 at the time of diagnosis. We have been told three months (in Dec 2021).

LadyT27 · 01/02/2022 21:24

So sorry OP Flowers
One of my parents died from cancer less than two months after diagnosis. Was completely in shock during that time and a long time after. Spend as much time as you can with your dad and do as much as you can to make him comfortable especially near the end.
It won’t change the heartache once he’s gone but you will find some comfort and be so glad you did everything you could. Big hugs.

trunktoes · 01/02/2022 21:26

Gosh this is awful and so many people dying so young. I had no idea it was so quick

Emmelina · 01/02/2022 21:31

I lost an uncle to this. It will likely be quick, I’m sorry. It was about 8 weeks from diagnosis.
Unfortunately pancreatic cancer is one of those things that doesn’t show itself until it’s quite advanced and therefore a low survival rate compared to others.

CountessOfSponheim · 01/02/2022 21:34

So sorry, OP and bloodywhitecat. My friend died less than a month after diagnosis.

mummyofthreemunchkins · 01/02/2022 21:46

@lljkk

May I tag on a question -- hope this is ok. People talk about time from diagnosis to passing away. What about time from diagnosis until they need full time support until they can't potter around any more without a lot of help how many weeks was this?

I think that's a quality of life marker I'd like to know.

We lost dad to this awful disease. He was 6 weeks from diagnosis to death, he was functional up until week 5 and that last last week he really deteriorated very fast... He was always a very independent man, very stoical! I think that's what he found hard, was when he had to rely on others do do basic things
caringcarer · 01/02/2022 21:49

I am so sorry your DF has this awful.cancer. My DM died from it 8 years ago. At point she was given up to 6 months to live she managed 11 weeks during which time she could not eat more than 1 small mouthful of anything each day, anything more and she vomitted it all back up. For last 3 weeks all she had was water. She had a morphine driver fitted to manage pain which got worse in last 7 weeks. When she died she weighed only 5 stone and 4 old. There was nothing left of her. The cancer took it all. Me and my 4 sisters moved in with Mum when she came out of hospital and gave her round the clock care. There was no treatment they could give her except medicine to stop her vomitting as much and in the end she even struggled to keep water down. You have a very sad road to travel OP as my heart goes to out to you because I know what your DF will have to deal with. I hope the pain can be controlled and honestly I hope for you both it is quicker than it was for my DM.