Saying goodbye at the end

[Tinydancer321]

I was really close to my Nan and she had raised me since a baby so was my mum figure and we have a mum and daughter relationship.
She passed away a couple of weeks ago, that night we knew it was going to be her last. So I went to say good bye. I was awful and useless, scared to touch her didnt know what to say. Every so often said I love you. She was unconscious. I didn’t hold her hand I didn’t touch her. I’m so upset with my self. I feel she went with no one supporting her. I was in so much shock. It was like I was watching from out of my body just waiting her to stop breathing not believing what was going on.
Sorry to post I’m not sure if this is the right place. I feel horrible, I feel I wasn’t there for her.

You have to let it go. You were with her and spoke to her and if she was aware then she knew you were there.

It’s a really hard position to be in and no-one knows how they’ll react until they are there.

I am sure that you Nan wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up about it. Please try and be kind to yourself.

Sorry to hear about your lovely nan. You were there for her, she knew you loved her. You were not awful and useless at all, it can be scary and very emotional to see someone we love slipping away. She wouldnt want you to be feeling like this, you must have some wonderful memories of the times you spent together.

So sorry for your loss. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to say goodbye. You were in shock but you were there for her. I always think the way we treat people day to day is most important so take comfort in all of your happy memories together, these will have been far more important in her final days than whatever you did/didn’t say or do whilst she was unconscious. She will know how much you loved and cared for her I’m sure of it.

Thanks everyone. I’m so disappointed by myself. I’m really struggling with life without her. I realise I’m bit selfish and she was there for me always. I asked her about every decision 🤦🏼‍♀️. Just replaying every thing lol over and over. Xx