I think my dad is dying

[Sosad101]

I just feel so so sad and I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with what’s going to happen. I think my dad has got lung cancer. He’s 91 (I know). He had been having breathing problems for a couple of months and has lost an alarming amount of weight. His GP sent him to hospital on Tuesday and they drained a litre and a half of fluid from his lung. He has to go back for a CT scan and same day results next week. I know when I was with him at this hospital on Tuesday that the consultant was trying to prepare me for what was to come, although she obviously could not diagnose.
He lives with my mum who suffers with her own health problems and disabilities. I’m going to go round tomorrow and speak candidly with them about preparing for the worst.
My MiL is a nurse and has been trying to prepare me today. I’ve shed a lot of tears. Even though he is 91 he has always been so strong and amazing and I thought he’d be around forever. I don’t know how I’m going to cope when he becomes very very poorly.

So sorry @Sosad101
Thinking about you and your family at this awful time 💐

I'm so sorry. My dad died when he was 84 and i thought he'd live to be 100. So healthy all his life. Got sepsis from a pacemaker that had not been properly sterilised. Its going to be hard but you will get through it. It does get easier but it takes a long time. But he's still with you so enjoy him. Try not to think about tomorrow too much because it sucks the joy out of today. Easier said than done, I know. Sending you hugs. x

It doesn't matter if he's 92, 92 or 350 - he's your dad x

Spend as much time with him as you can. Tell him everything you wish to tell him so that if / when the time comes, you'll feel some peace at knowing he knew how much you love him.

But try to find some joy in every day from now. He's still with you xx

Thank you all. You’re right and I’m going to try and concentrate on the time he does have with us. DDs caught me crying on DH earlier so I had a very frank chat with them about how ill grandad is and how difficult the next few months are going to be. They are absolutely devastated (they’re only 9 and 7) but I couldn’t lie to them and I can’t suppress how devastated I am.

Your father is so lucky to have a family who loves him so much. And you are so lucky to have a father whose loss means so much to you, although that might sound a bit odd now.
I had the same fortunate experience and it really does help when you look back and remember the love he surrounded you with. And samwutwicky is right, it was a huge comfort that I was in no doubt that he knew how much I loved him, and I knew how much he loved me.

My father was diagnosed with lung cancer after a similar set of symptoms when he was in his early 80s and lived for another four years because cancer growth was much slower at his age. He had radiotherapy and was fairly healthy until very near the end. I hope, if that is the diagnosis, that your father can be helped and have some more time with you all.