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Have they got it wrong- mum at end of life

13 replies

User22447 · 13/06/2021 09:01

My mum was been diagnosed with breast cancer 18months ago. Sadly at the time of diagnosis we were told the cancer had already spread and it was too late to do anything apart from treatment to prolong life.
Mum has responded well to treatment but was taken to hospital unexpectedly on Monday by Thursday we were told she was critically ill and to expect she probably wouldn't live 24 hours.
We have been at the hospital since then , she has developed several signs of death being near , i.e swollen cold hands and feet, death rattle and is unresponsive. We've had several scares when we thought she was passing but she has kept fighting.
I'm starting to wonder if the doctors have this wrong as even the nurses on the ward seem surprised.
It's such a rollcoaster ,I'm just looking for some idea if whether this is normal or whether we need to be asking for a second opinion?

OP posts:
Misspollyhadadolly92 · 13/06/2021 14:54

I have no idea but sending ❤.

Imissmoominmama · 13/06/2021 14:57

It took my mum 6 days to die. I stayed with her and told her all the things I remembered about my childhood- I hope she could hear.

Sending love and thoughts to you.

Trinacham · 13/06/2021 15:00

With my father's last days, when he was unresponsive, the nurses kept telling us it is soon, and for days, (maybe even a week or so, it's all a blur now!) they were surprised he was still fighting. I think that is just how it goes 💐

Trinacham · 13/06/2021 15:04

@Imissmoominmama

It took my mum 6 days to die. I stayed with her and told her all the things I remembered about my childhood- I hope she could hear.

Sending love and thoughts to you.

They do say hearing is the last sense to go ❤ I got married 4 months prior and had a father-daughter dance with my dad. I played the song back to him in his final days, hoping he would hear and think of the happy moments we had
Imissmoominmama · 13/06/2021 15:15

@Trinacham- that’s lovely.

I played Mum the songs she sang to me as a child; Puff the Magic Dragon and Morningtown Ride.

I’m grateful I had that time with her.

Vallmo47 · 15/06/2021 18:10

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. My mum fought for ten weeks in hospital after suffering a brain aneurysm. I wish I could turn back time and make it end sooner, as it truly wasn’t her in any way. It’s so heartbreaking. Keep talking to her 💗💗

caringcarer · 15/06/2021 18:36

When my Mum was in final stages of pancreatic cancer GP would only write prescription for 3 days of drugs at a time to be fed into her driver pump as said wasteful to prescribe more as very expensive for NHS. Every day for about s week McMillan nurse who came each day to administer drugs and check Mum said as she was leaving 'I don't think she will last another day'. She lasted 7 more days with death rattle and a lot of pain. Try to prepare yourself. If you have anything to tell your parent do it now before it is too late. Sending a hug.

User22447 · 15/06/2021 21:16

Hi everyone thank you for your advice and kind words. My mum passed the early hours of yesterday . I am devastated but thankful she is now at peace xx

OP posts:
22td · 15/06/2021 21:18

So sorryThanks

ChicChaos · 15/06/2021 21:34

So sorry for your loss OP Flowers

Imissmoominmama · 15/06/2021 22:19

I’m so very sorry.

MrsIronfoundersson · 15/06/2021 22:27

I'm so sorry for your loss OP FlowersFlowers

Trinacham · 16/06/2021 21:24

Sorry for your loss Flowers

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