Heartbroken

[Relaxing2]

I'm really struggling to cope I can't stop crying anxiety attacks thinking my partner has just found out he has cancer and there is nothing they can do for him they have give him months we have kids and I can't imagine life without him I'm trying so hard to be strong but I can't any advice please

Oh I’m so sorry. There aren’t adequate words for this. So hard to process
On a practical level take the support offered by oncology team & Macmillan
See your GP for support
Contact the SLT team at school
Get support claiming benefits,financial support

@Relaxing2 come join us on "still the storm" thread in life limiting - it's a group of woman in exactly the same situation.

I'm.so sorry my heart aches for you and I'm so sad to hear this. My husband was diagnosed stage 4 bowel cancer yesterday, I love him so much, he's my strength and the reason I persist in life, I'm so scared and lost right now, Reading up material online is so frightening and like yourself I cant stop crying , feeling nauseous and so helpless. Everyone saying be strong and don't cry, but its so hard. I may not have the words to comfort you, but I want to let you know I understand.

@Relaxing2 and @Pucca123 - I can't imagine what you're both going through, but I'm thinking of you

Thank you ever so much it is hard isnt it my anxiety is threw the roof my head is so cabbaged with it all we can both have a hand hold if you want too

Its so hard to control the emotions, I'm trying so damn hard, but I find the more you suppress it the harder it gets. I sobbed so dam hard, so loud I didnt realise that hubby heard and came to me, we held onto to each and cried. Its hard to find the strength when I have always drawn it from him. But I feel so guilty because its now my turn to give him the support. Have u contacted Macmillan for support? I would love to be your hand hold, dont hold back your emotions because they need to be heard. I'm sorry I'm not good with words, but I shall be thinking of you and your family.

Hi I've been the same crying whenever we phone each other and he's got mac going out to him sometime in the week and they have said they can offer some support and mindfulness and that to us all and that's great a hand hold thank you just feel so alone as we don't live together and we're in lockdown x

Im so sorry, I know how you mean with lockdown.
Last year I could deal with lockdown, but now I find it incredibly hard.
My parents are finding this equally difficult, they are so fragile and vulnerable but they are so worried about us. My dad tells me "my good girl, good girl,don't cry, daddy is here, call me anytime" oh how I wish I was just a little girl again, with the child's innocence and naive mindset and easily feel protected with my parents comfort. But no its not like that anymore, there's so much to face and I need to protect them too.

Yeah totally agree with you but having a good cry my help us feel better in some silly way I broke down again yesterday my doctor have put me on diazepam to cope

Let's hold hands virtually and cry together

Definitely xx

Thinking of you x

Its vile isnt it? I found out my DH has advanced prostate cancer which cannot be cured. Whilst it isnt terminal its not a good prognosis overall and we had such plans.

After working for 40 years each we now have enough money to do some lovely long haul holidays. We are very comfortably off but that doesnt really feel important now.

We told our early 20's children and its hard, so hard. Its just not fair. Why us? I have an appointment to visit someone at Maggies Care (and I havent ever had counselling, I was always the pull yourself together type of person).

I feel so robbed and am keeping myself busy with reviewing wills, Power of Attorney etc. Please everyone - do a will, you can often get them either free or at low cost. Please do not assume that because you have been together for years, or have in your head that something will happen because its the 'right' thing.

PLEASE - PUT IT DOWN IN WRITING AND WITH A SOLICITOR/WILL WRITER SO THAT YOUR WISHES ARE FOLLOWED.

I had a group review of pensions and wills when I worked for my last company. The one thing that stuck with me is someone telling me that their late Father had tried to do his own using WH Smith will pack. It took them nearly 2 years to sort it out after his death and in the end they felt it didnt really follow his wishes but because he had done it wrong there was nothing they could do. His Father had a fair amount of money as well but thought he knew best re writing his will. His Father's error was all around, witnesses and signing each page of the will from memory.

Aww thinking of you hun it's is so hard isn't it really hard have they said how long you have together? If you don't mind me asking always here for a hand hold

It's a cliche but one day at a time! You are grieving but that's to be expected. You will regain your strength and be able to think clearly sooner than you think. Get all the help and advice you can get from MacMillan Nurse's, charity related to the cancer, local hospice etc. My local hospice has a charity called "Patches" and it is for children who are living with a terminally ill parent. Check with the Oncology Team of there is a welfare centre within the hospital. We have "The Mustard Tree" a place where you can speak to Benefits Advisors and other experts and you can even have a pamper session to boost your mood while caring for your loved one. And remember WE are always here to listen and give advice from one mumsnet tee to another!

How long have you and your boyfriend been together OP? It must be doubly hard that you don't live together?

Nearly 4 years and we have a nearly 3 year old xx

I'm so sorry @Relaxing2.

Thanks