Sister in law has weeks to live. How can we help.

[goldenharvest]

We are 200 miles away in tier 3. They are 2. My BIL is distraught. Just feel so helpless and there is so little we can do. Is there anything?

I’m sorry to hear this.

When my father was dying, he didn’t want to see anyone other than immediate family.

So it depends what she wants and what kind of condition she is in.

There’s no law preventing travel so you can visit if that’s what they want.

Can you visit (if they want you too)?

I would

Speaking as someone who is in similar situation with a BIL who has 6-12 months. His children are desperate to see us.

Could you afford the fine? could you get there safely. Even discussing with BIL that you want to come see them might help (even if you ultimately decide not to go)

Not saying at all that you should go (at all), just that I would (and will)

All the best

What are the jobs that are essential and you could ease the load: driving to/from medical care? Making sure there are comforting meals in the freezer? Cleaning /laundry done? Pets fed, watered and exercised? Any other admin that can't wait or would add stress/ take energy?
Love and listening xxx

You are allowed to travel for reasons such as this. Does she want you to go? Does he? You can send messages, a thoughtfully written card and offer to do online shopping and things.
I’m sorry

My BIL has all the practical things under co tell, and he elderly mum is staying with them. I understand completely she might not want to see other people, and we we take the lead from BIL. He was in tears and asking for us to give him a virtual hug and just be there to support him as he tries to support her. She's gone in the space of a week from looking normal to yellow and shrunken, so it's really bad. I'm going to get her a lovely card, and write a quick letter to let her know we are here for her to talk to if she needs to, and we will look after BIL. I think that's all we can do at the moment. Thanks all xx