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Original poster

Few hrs

20 replies

Badgerstmary · 22/05/2020 06:21

We’ve just been called in to the Royal Marsden. The phone call you never want at 5:30am. Mum is so not well. Her leukaemia relapsed, she survived brain surgery with it 2 weeks ago but then got another infection. My dad, sister & I have all been allowed to see her but only 3 people are allowed in at the same time. My brother has turned up so I have swapped & come out. Seriously though, I’ve had to come down to Reception. It doesn’t seem to make sense. My mum has been swapped between hospitals the last few weeks. We were only allowed to see her before her brain op as it was 50:50 make it through, but she did. And now today. They said a few hrs probably left. Don’t know how dad will cope. I live so far away.

OP posts:
Peridot1 · 22/05/2020 06:23

I am so sorry. It’s hard anytime but this current time with all the restrictions makes everything harder.

Flowers
thisislovelyme · 22/05/2020 06:34

I'm so sorry you're going through this badger. I really don't understand why they can't let you all be together for a little while if your mum only has a few hours left. Just be with her as much as you can. Thinking of you.

Flippetydip · 22/05/2020 06:36

I am so sorry for you. What a horrible time and a horrible situation. I'm glad that you are getting to see her, even for a bit. We lost MIL just before all this started in similar circumstances and it was hideous then, I can't imagine what you're going through with all the extra nightmare of covid.

Thinking of you. Flowers

BigTikes · 22/05/2020 06:40

I’m so sorry. It’s unfair and cruel and just so sad.

SandysMam · 22/05/2020 06:47

I’m so sorry badger. I got to this point with my mum and instead of praying she would live, I prayed she would go quickly and peacefully. Hold her hand, tell her you love her, but please please don’t be surprised or feel guilty if she slips away whilst you are out of the room. She is so loved, and will feel that.
Your dad will be ok, she sounds like she has been ill for a while, in his own way he may have prepared for it.
Thinking of you and praying for your mum Flowers

WeAllHaveWings · 22/05/2020 06:57

Sorry you are going through this.

When we were told my mum wouldn't last the night in ICU they only allowed 2 visitors at a time (pre covid). I am one of 5 kids and obviously we all wanted to be there, but honestly it worked out better. The priority was dad was there most of the time for mum and the rest of us swapped in and out to support him, when there is only 2 there dad could focus on mum, or it was easier and more personal for us to talk to her without too many other people there iykwim. It was better for mum too not to have, in our case, a huge audience of 6.

It also helped us to have is a break, from trying to keep it together, being outside with each other as it was a long night.

It will be hard to be alone outside, would one of your siblings come out and support you while the other stays with your dad then swaps regularly?

Original poster
Badgerstmary · 22/05/2020 10:13

Thank you everybody. We have had to leave for a couple of hrs whilst they do things to her. When we go back it is only 2 at a time. At least I’ve been able to see her, give her & kiss her she could still talk.

OP posts:
Torvi · 22/05/2020 12:53

That sounds so tough. Your mum will know how much you all care and love her Thanks

echt · 23/05/2020 03:15

Thinking of you in such terrible time, BadgerStmary, so complicated by the CV-19 overlay.

Thanks
Borntobeamum · 26/05/2020 12:26

Thinking of you all. Such a devastating time for so many 😪

whywhywhy6 · 26/05/2020 12:28

Thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
Badgerstmary · 28/05/2020 17:22

A week has now passed. Mum is still with us but... After the original phone call at 5am saying a few hrs, it then became they would give it 24/48 hrs & see how she was. I got to see mum Thurs-Sunday every day. They then said we couldn’t see her any more as she was out of imminent danger. Yesterday they said her liver & kidneys are too bad for more chemo so that’s it. They said a few days, maybe a week or so. At least we are allowed to see her again. She just asked for coffee & a lovely nurse helped her drink it with a straw. At least she isn’t in pain & seems calm. Just wasn’t a hug from her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Badgerstmary · 31/05/2020 02:55

I just want a hug from my mum, but I can’t ever have one again.

OP posts:
WorriedDaughter1 · 31/05/2020 03:01

I am so sorry, Badgerstmary.

Thepigeonsarecoming · 31/05/2020 03:05

You can have a hug from your mum, just think back on all the memories. Yes it’s devastating, I’ve been there. I’m so sorry OP, I wish I could say anything to make you feel better, but nothing will

notapizzaeater · 31/05/2020 17:27

I'm so sorry x

Collision · 06/06/2020 23:56

@Badgerstmary

I’m so sorry to read your thread. How are things with your mum?

Xx

Original poster
Badgerstmary · 27/06/2020 00:02

Mum passed on 30th May. It was incredibly peaceful. I miss her so much.

OP posts:
Ferfecksackmammy · 27/06/2020 00:31

I'm so sorry for your loss

Grandmi · 27/06/2020 00:36

Am so sorry. Lovely mums are unique and irreplaceable but all the memories are as well 💕💐💕

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