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Driving with brain injury

10 replies

FloriaTosca · 15/02/2020 18:10

MIL has had pulmonary fibrosis for 7 years, in Nov she had an ‘event‘ (presumed either insufficient or excess oxygen)that put her in hospital for 4 weeks, being discharged to our home with end of life care and a diagnosis of ‘an anomaly on her brain’ ( not as bad as stroke or even mini stroke), insufficient blood flow to the brain and dementia.
In Dec When she came to ours she was only able to walk with a Zimmer frame and somewhat delusional, the diagnosis seemed correct but by Christmas she was only using walking sticks and talking sense and now is walking unaided and pretty much back to normal for someone who requires oxygen 24/7. She is rational but tires easily.
She is pretty comfortable living here, has no wish to return to her own home but wants to be able to drive again so she can go off out socialising without relying on me chauffeuring her or taxis. We don’t want to deny her living what is left of her life to the full but DH works away a lot and I have to juggle my work and sons social calendar as well as hers so can’t take her to every hairdressing, manicure appointment and meal out. The problem is, even before Nov, we were concerned about her driving; she admitted to twice falling asleep at traffic lights and had more than a couple of wing mirror type misjudgement prangs but she refused to give up the car. We really don’t think she should be driving at all now.
As DH understands the rules, once someone is diagnosed with dementia they have to give up driving anyway, even if the diagnosis now appears erroneous. We have booked her an appointment with her GP in a fortnight so he can assess and hopefully tell her what we have said but in the meantime we have had to remove her car from our driveway and leave it at her home so she doesn’t just take it into her head and go off in it. Are we are doing the right thing and are we right that the GP won’t give her permission to drive after the hospitals diagnosis?

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 15/02/2020 19:08

Once you are diagnosed with dementia, you don't have to give up driving, but you do have to inform the DVLA and have to take a driving assessment to keep your licence.

She may find the thought of that enough to put her off.

Plus the GP may outright tell her no.

FloriaTosca · 15/02/2020 19:45

Thank you for that AnnaMagnani.
I mentioned that to her just now and she isn’t put off at all😕, but hopefully if the test is rigorous enough she wont pass.
If she sells the car it will pay for more taxi rides than she could possibly need in a year and we won’t be worrying about her falling asleep and ploughing into innocent people!

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AnnaMagnani · 15/02/2020 20:11

I think she'd fail on lack of insight alone. DVLA are also v hot on people falling asleep at the wheel for obvious reasons.

Elieza · 15/02/2020 20:21

Taxis are the way to go for sure. Way less dangerous for all concerned.

You could try pointing out to her that the servicing, mot, road tax and insurance must add up to a fair amount per year. If you broke it down into how much per week it could be enough if a saving that she could happily spend it on taxis?

Could she be entitled to any benefits for her condition? If she is then she wouldn’t feel as guilty about spending the money on taxis?

FloriaTosca · 16/02/2020 22:04

Couldn’t agree more Elieza
She is financially comfortable and the sale of the car alone would pay for hundreds of taxi rides. Friends and family are more than happy to take her to lots of her appointments and social engagements just we can’t all be available all the time for her ... and yes, she will save money on petrol, tax, insurance and maintenance too. Nice of you to think of benefits but my late father in law left her well provided for so it isn’t a matter of feeling guilty about spending the money, more a case of feeling her independence is being taken away from her....and no amount of reasoning about culpability and guilt if she were to harm someone seems to be getting through to her.
My DH and his SIL both think the GP will tell her directly that she is not fit to drive and are both convinced she wouldn’t pass a test if she forced the issue with him.
If those methods for keeping her off the roads fail, I have told DH that she can return to her own home because if she is still fit enough to drive then she is fit enough to do her own cooking, cleaning and laundry too.
I won’t be party to her irresponsibility, even indirectly.

OP posts:
FloriaTosca · 16/02/2020 22:11

AnnaMagnani. Absolutely! If she was completely back to normal I am convinced she wouldn’t be being so intractable...her determination has a hint of childish selfishness that she would never have entertained before she was first ill.
I admit I was hoping someone would confirm DHs belief that she simply wasn’t allowed to drive ( his work mates father was instantly disqualified) but your insight has been very helpful. Thank you.

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 18/02/2020 10:27

The test is not like doing your driving test - and most of us would be quite nervous about doing that!

There is assessment of your cognition, insight, ability to do a route and then driving as well.

I think she will very likely fail it. But if I was her doctor and you told me she had fallen asleep at the wheel, it would be an immediate no from me.

Soontobe60 · 18/02/2020 12:33

Also, I guess her insurance would be invalid if the gp said no

FloriaTosca · 19/02/2020 17:22

She was feeling unwell this morning so we got her an urgent appt at GPS...DH took her and brought up the subject of driving while they were there. GP said categorically she was not fit to drive because of the reduced blood flow to her brain.
We are so relieved....sorry for her too because she is so upset (calling us all bastards for taking her freedom) but it’s like a weight taken off my shoulders knowing she can’t cause harm....we live on the same road as 3 primary schools and a huge high school and all the roads in the town are jammed packed morning and afternoon with Chelsea tractors, parents and children ( mine being among them) it could have been carnage.
Friends and family have said they will help run her round as much as possible and the cash from selling the car will pay for taxis for the foreseeable future.
Thank you all for your input, it was very much appreciated.

OP posts:
LittleCandle · 19/02/2020 17:38

DF called me a 'fucking bitch' when I persuaded his GP to tell him he could no longer drive. He was barely able to walk to the toilet, but thought he could get to his car and drive it. I am so glad for you that the GP was willing to tell your MIL.

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