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Cancer... Need positive stories for DM

5 replies

IneedPositivityxx · 18/09/2019 20:09

My mum has cancer again third time.... I need positive stories as I feel like she won’t make it this time.

First time stage 4 ovarian in March 2017, she beat it.

Second time November 2018 was on a few Lymph Nodes (not sure on spelling) around her right lung still stage 4.

Now this month it’s just cells.

Just been told she’s been constantly throwing up for past 24 hours constantly and has been rushed into hospital. She is very dehydrated and a lot of stomach pains. She was due to start chemo again in more or less 2 weeks.

Now I’m thinking the worst. I’m a single parent no one to give my DD (5 years old) to as my dad lives 2 hours away and I want to see my mum. I’ve just been in tears on the phone to my dad.

Any positive stories please?

OP posts:
IneedPositivityxx · 18/09/2019 20:09

Sorry for any typos I’ve typed real quick and I’m panicking too :(

OP posts:
missyB1 · 18/09/2019 20:16

Sorry to read this OP, poor you and your poor mum too. She's certainly been through the mill bless her. Is it the original cancer showing up in different places? Anyway She's recovered in the past and so it's possible she will do it again, she's clearly a strong lady.
I had breast cancer 3 years ago, I made a good recovery and so far so good. I just try and live for each day now because none of us ever know what's around the corner.

IneedPositivityxx · 18/09/2019 20:20

I think it’s the original cancer yes, but she had her ovaries removed and womb and the lining of skin around it removed too but it’s still classed as Ovarian cancer I was told. My family have always been quite healthy, no life threatening illnesses or anything major so I’m all new to this.

I’m glad you recovered from yours, I hope you are well.

OP posts:
Minxmumma · 20/09/2019 10:11

@IneedPositivityxx
First take a deep breath and gather your thoughts. Gentle hugs all round.

Your dm is clearly made of sturdy stuff, if she is in hospital she is in the best place to be stabilised and appropriately medicated to relieve her pain.

She's definately been through the mill, hopefully you will (already) have more info and be able to help her plan whatever treatment she may need.

I've had cancer 3 times in 8 years, still here, still a pain in the butt, to bloody minded to quit and not planning on doing so anytime soon.
Xx

Wehttam · 20/09/2019 10:42

OP I lost my mum to stage 3C Ovarian last year, she fought it for 4.5 years. When they say they remove the ovaries and the area around the abdomen, at that stage it tends to mean they got most but not everything. Stage 4 is terminal. It’s an evil horrible disease and often slips under the radar for a while before resurfacing in other areas, Ovarian can cause a number of complications.

My advice is this:

Sort your DD out, she is your priority. The hospital are caring for your mum, there’s not a great deal more you can do except be by her bedside at this point.

Go and visit your mum, try and find out as much as possible about what has happened. Some patients prefer not to know the full extent of what is happening, others want to know everything. Try and gage what your mum knows and is willing to know. For your sanity and for practical reasons you need to know as much as possible. Does DM have a partner or husband? If so ask them what they know.

Talk to the Macmillan nurses and get up to speed on the REALITY of Ovarian, trust me, it blindsided us as the years went on. You need to know what to expect as time goes on because denial only makes the reality harder to cope with.

Do you have any siblings? If Mum is in hospital for a while then rota your visiting days/ hours with them, her partner if she’s one and her friends. Extended stays or frequent admissions in hospital can become a routine with high grade cancer patients.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, your DD and Mum need a strong rested you.

Be positive around your mum.

Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer often has no rainbows or unicorns at the end, but that’s not to say the situation is entirely hopeless. Until you know more then don’t assume the worst. As I said above, educate yourself as much as possible from the Drs and nurses at the hospital.

I’m more than happy to answer any other questions OP, I wish you and your mum as easy a time as possible in this difficult situation. X

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