Two primary cancers at the same time.

[BikeTart]

I posted a while back about my Exh's tonsil cancer diagnosis, link here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/life_limiting_illness/3516967-ExH-has-tonsil-cancer-Does-anyone-here-have-experience

He's also got stage 1 lung cancer which means he's had two primary cancers at the same time - don't know which came first tbh. He is having surgery soon, the tumour is in a tricky place somewhere in the 'branches' of the lung. I'm getting the info secondhand from DD and she's very scared so don't want to press her alot. I am no contact for my sanity and he'd likely lie anyway. He's still smoking and drinking heavily which isn't good but he doesn't seem to be as worried as DD is.

He had the chemoradiotherapy for the tonsil cancer and is discharged and obviously is still very thin and has some lasting side effects from the radiotherapy.

So - I don't know what I want I've googled endlessly. I had no idea it's possible to have two unrelated cancers at the same time so I don't know what it means for life expectancy and can't make sense of what's on the internet. He is clearly expecting his life to be cut short though - he's done alot of 'bucket list' type things recently and has told DD he'll continue to work so that she receives his death in service benefit (which did nothing to reduce her fear regardless of his intent).

Anyone here know more than me? I'd like to be able to talk somewhat more knowledgeably with DD and perhaps offer some reassurance where I can, regardless of the prognosis. Thank you.

hopeful bump

Just support your DD OP. If you are NC with your ex for your own health and sanity then he's not your primary concern. Two primary cancers at once sounds rare to me (I've never heard of it), but tbh I don't think you need to worry too much about the medical stuff. Just be there for your DD.

My dad had two primary cancers at the same time. He was diagnosed with liver cancer in the November, followed by bowel cancer the following June. It was pretty devastating when we were already dealing with the first diagnosis. However, better to have two primaries than a primary with secondaries.

We had a bit of an issue as the cancers were under the care of two different hospitals due to specialisms and the bowel hospital didn't communicate with the liver hospital before telling my dad and mum that the choices were palliative chemo or just to leave it and live out his life. Our GP - who is bloody brilliant - intervened and got them talking, and soon after a phone call came to offer him surgery. He had it and this removed the bowel cancer entirely, with no chemo needed.

The liver cancer held off well enough with interventional radiology until fairly recently when something else caused problems and sped up decline. Sadly, he is now terminally ill and I am heartbroken.

These are different cancers to the ones you mentioned so obviously the situations and prognosis is different but yes, it is possible to have two primaries at the same time, though it was acknowledged as uncommon.

You could try joining up on the Macmillan website, they have an ask a nurse / expert section which is pretty good. As Inca14 says, generally I would agree that better two primaries at stage 1 than a primary with a secondary. Hope you get some answers.

I was going to say the same as previous poster about seeking advice and guidance from one of the big cancer charities.

My FIL has two primary cancers, both stage 2, and he’s doing v well. I think your ex is being overly pessimistic but then he obviously knows more about his prognosis.

Macmillan and Marie Curie are great for advice, info and support. Not unusual to have two different cancers at once, I know several people. Each will have its own prognosis and treatment can be combined. Maybe you or dd would benefit from counselling, illness and death are hard for those on the sidelines, esp if relationships unresolved or difficult

He could recover from either or both if not spread. Obvs smoking and drinking won't help. It's also possible to have a recurrence of a primary which is not a secondary, and different kinds of cancer in the same place. All treated, and same chance of recovery as new disease.

BikeTart how is he? My Oh was also diagnosed with two primarys recentlt stage 2 for the throat and stage 3 a for the lung

Not something to worry about immediately but sometimes having two primary cancers at the same time can be inherited. Make sure your daughter gets genetic counselling at some point

I'd take 2 primaries over primary and secondary.

Have you looked at the local hospice ? Ours offer family support which your DD could tap into. Stage 1 lung is normally operable (my DH has stage 4 which isn't)