My adopted sister has learning difficulties, mental age of about 10 but is in her early 30s. We have never been close - But I have cared for her for periods of time over the years as lives with my mum who is now in her 70s.
Ds collapsed over Christmas, and it turns out she has had severe bleeding from her rectum for a long time. We don’t know how long because her understanding of the situation isn’t complete. They operated and have done scans / MRIs and blood tests and she’s been diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. The consultant has been very upfront with her and said they don’t think they can cure her.
They weren’t going to go ahead with any treatment but have now decided to do chemo and radiotherapy, before attempting surgery again.
It feels so bloody unfair. She had a horrendously abusive early life before she came to live with my mum. I feel bad for feeling so gutted when we were never close - but she’s been in my life nearly 30 years. It is SO unfair though, she has been through so much already and is so young. My mum is literally aging in front of my eyes, and I’m so scared how she is going to cope.
Adoptive sister has a family member who was involved in some long term abuse when I was a child / teenager. They were there when I was raped amongst other things. They haven’t been in my families life for about 8 years and we need to contact them to tell them about their sisters diagnosis. I literally can’t breath at the thought of them coming back, and yet that is so very selfish of me in the face of everything else that is going on.
How do we deal with this as a family? She’s basically a child in an adults body. I don’t know how to support my mum. It feels like our lives have imploded.