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Life-limiting illness

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MIL has cancer...what now? Spots on lungs, not sure what that means

10 replies

Neverunderfed · 12/01/2019 19:22

My lovely MiL went for a routine scan about 18 months ago for something unrelated and they spotted a growth on her pancreas. They operated and removed it and most/all of her pancreas. She had chemo after. She's 80 and the chemo took it out of her...a lot of worries about temperature spikes/small infections so she missed a few sessions and they delayed a load. She ended up not having the full lot for this reason.

They have since seen some spots on her lungs which they have said that due to her age and general well-being they won't treat.

This was about 6 months ago. Since then we haven't heard much, my husband stays with her for a few nights every week and we saw her at Christmas. She is really quite weak and tired, she falls asleep regularly and seems very distant. She has a persistent cough which the docs apparently aren't concerned about. She told my husband the other day that she is always in pain in various places, but she thinks it is just 'part of the condition', so she takes paracetamol three times a day.

I don't know what to think. She's very pragmatic and stoical so while she would be honest with people, she's not the type to harp on about every detail. Does this all sound like she is actively poorly? I mean, does it sound like she 'has cancer' and is ill with it, as against just an aging lady with spots on her lungs?

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CoperCabana · 12/01/2019 19:26

Very gently, I think she is proper poorly sorry. I think they have agreed not to treat her secondary cancer. I might be wrong but that is what it sounds like. I would say, just support her as much as you can and listen to her wishes. Hugs to you all.

Neverunderfed · 12/01/2019 19:50

I think she might be too. She still potters around, gets herself up and out when needed, but she just seemed so...tired. Dh is talking to his eldest brother now who has just been to see her to see if he has found anything more out. They don't want to pry obviously, but they want to support her as best they can.

Dh said earlier that he was wondering if she was going to die 'of it' as against 'with it' now...

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Neverunderfed · 12/01/2019 19:50

Thank you for your response btw

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Waddsup12 · 12/01/2019 19:55

I might be taking the advice of the local hospice, if that is possible. Might not be quite the right time but it wouldn't hurt to see what support is there and also I'd be asking about what palliative pain care options there are locally.

olympicsrock · 12/01/2019 19:59

I’m a doctor. I’m sorry to say it does sound like her cancer has spread with secondary cancer of the lungs. They are not planning to treat her as more chemotherapy is a lot to go through and wouldn’t cure her - at this point it is all about quality of life not quantity of life. Perhaps plan some special things to do with her to make memories for the family. It might help to see the GP with her as the specialists will have written to the GP ( and usually) the patient to put down in writing what the diagnosis and plan is.

olympicsrock · 12/01/2019 20:00

The GP will have links to the local palliative care team who can help with symptom control and provide support.

Neverunderfed · 14/01/2019 19:34

She saw the docs today, they are referring her for assesment at local MacMillan hospice for a 'course on breathlessness' etc. Confused Not sure what that involves. Dh is there today, he said she's very breathless and can't talk much without coughing. But she's up and about.

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lljkk · 14/01/2019 19:37

Symptom management is a good strategy.

WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsOn · 14/01/2019 19:41

Prioritise your time with her, tell her how much you love and value her. Thanks

Neverunderfed · 30/01/2019 17:02

She has fluid in one lung apparently, and has gone in to have it drained...so not a chest infection. Is this likely to be related to the cancer?

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