Recent cancer diagnosis

[Missedmoments]

My DF has recently had a very sudden cancer diagnosis. To say it’s been a shock would be an understatement. Our lives have literally been turned upside down in a matter of days. There were some red flags this past year but for some reason my DF kept the severity of them to himself. Probably fear of this exact diagnosis. Right now he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it and seems to be in denial. We as a family all seem to be numb. Is this normal behaviour or should we gently push him to talk or leave him be for now. I’m so confused right now I don’t know what to say or do. I just feel so bloody helpless...

I am pretty sure my dad hid the severity of his symptoms to himself as well, we didn't push him though as there was no point, he would've felt backed into a corner and I still don't think he would've opened up completely. I think people need to be able to deal with their cancer in the best way they know how and sometimes that means the rest of us respecting their wishes and not pushing. The helpless feeling is just awful isn't it

My DF wasn't a talker either and wouldn't discuss his cancer with the family. The only time he opened up in any way was when he was with the doctors, although he would underplay his symptoms or pain. My DM and I accompanied him to his hospital appointments and these were an opportunity for us to talk a bit and ask some questions.

Sometimes people don't want to talk because they fear they will upset others. Maybe you could gently say to your DF "Dad, I know you may not want to talk about it right now, but I'm (we are) here for you when or if you want to talk about things. Please don't feel you have to go through this alone".

I feel for you OP. I experienced this last year and I completely get what you're going through. Good luck x