Work colleague has cancer

[Sherlock31]

I know by saying work colleague, it sounds like just someone I see a few times a week. But she's my best friend, we have worked side by side for over 15 years, spend time together outside of work. She has been diagnosed with stage 2 cancer. The outlook from the doctors is positive. Remove the lump, a lymph node, and then fingers crossed after radiotherapy she will be fine.

But since she told me, I feel my world has been rocked. How stupid that the one with cancer ended up comforting me? I'm so upset someone I love so much is having to go through this, but also scared as it made me realise it could have been worse.

Any tips for how I can act around her, what to say around her? No one I know has ever had cancer and this has really floored me.

She's an upbeat person, usually quite fragile and she seems to be coping with her recent diagnosis very well.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Lots of people react the way you did. It's upsetting news. Now you are over the shock hopefully you will be able to handle your emotions better around her :)

Otherwise just try to act as normally as possible. She's still the same person, just with a bit of cancer. You don't need to say anything special. I really appreciate it when people just talk to me normally. Some people make a huge fuss and act as though I can't do anything for myself or they can't tell me normal stuff. Then I feel excluded. (Obviously she might need a bit of practical help, but I mean don't assume she is completely incapable, and ask what help she needs rather than just deciding for her.)

You sound like a very caring friend

From what you've said the cancer was caught early, and breast cancer is now one of the most treatable, so there is a very good chance that she will be absolutely fine.

Thanks for your advice @WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo myself and other colleagues who are extremely close have literally felt blindsided by this. Sometimes we see these colleagues more than we see our own families, and over the years we've all become so close and very luckily haven't had to go through anything like this.

I'm seeing her on Tuesday for the first time since her diagnosis. I'm hoping to just be able to be 'normal' around her. Thanks so much for the advice.

hi OP I'm sorry to hear this

Look at the Macmillan website - it has information on how to support and what to say to people with cancer. I think the answer is to be as normal as you can with her, but not ignore the fact of her cancer. Also take the lead from her. She might want to be distracted by you not have to talk about it or she may just want to talk about her experience.