Help me help my Nana

[tuffgingernut]

Hi. My wonderful Grandmother is dying. She was diagnosed with bowel cancer at the beginning of the year. Stage 3. Her symptoms have now progressed. She's having huge bleeds, it's in a lot of pain and her abdomen is very swollen. She's at home alone as my Granddad passed away unexpectedly 2 months ago. Since then I've stepped up, along with my Mum to look after her.

I feel like I'm letting her down. It's palliative care only but I'm really struggling to get her the support and medical help she needs. I took her to A and E last week as she was in agony. I also asked for McMillan support more times than I can count but she still doesn't have this. It took me 3 visits from her GP just to get her some codeine. Feel I'm banging my head against a brick wall whilst my wonderful Grandmother suffers. Any practical advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Your poor Nana 😢 her care is being very poorly managed.
Keep chasing mcmillian and community nurses. And say that you're going to be making a formal complaint as she's been waiting so long in pain, which is completely unacceptable.

How is your nana today, leaving her in pain is not acceptable so I hope you have found someone to help you. Do call the g.p. and ask for an urgent referral to the generalist palliative care district nurses, previous posters have some great ideas .

Quick update as I'm at work but we've arranged for the Gp to have a meeting with us on Wednesday. Unfortunately she's been in a&e most of last night after calling 999 in the night herself. She has a UTI as well now. My mission is to get this sorted out by Wednesday. Thanks everyone again.

That’s good about the GP - hopefully he/she will be able to get the ball rolling with the care that your nana needs.

Sorry to hear she’s been in a&e, sending love xx

I'm sorry she is back in hospital but that might be a good opportunity to make sure everything can get sorted out. Do speak to the hospital doctors and discharge team to make sure she has adequate pain relief, ask about fast track funding if she is having to pay for carers herself, she should also see the palliative care team in the hospital who can refer her to the community.

What a day! Attended meeting with GP. Went armed with a list of requests/suggestions from you lovely lot. GP was great and we now have actions and a plan in place. Morphine and anti sickness drugs sorted. Macmillan involved. DNR sorted plus anticipatory drugs. Literally 10 minutes after GP left we noticed Dgm was very quiet, pale and sweaty. Then she couldn't talk at all or sit up straight. Called 999 who were there in minutes as was certain she was having a stroke. Fortunately she wasn't but was hypoglyceamic with blood sugar of 1. She's stable again now thanks to the brilliant paramedics. We just seem to keep going from one crisis to another. I need to lie down in a dark room. My nerves are shot, really thought it was the end.

Hi Tuff - how’s your nana doing?

Hi Broom. She's Ok, in a fair amount of pain so we're just trying to get the right dose of Morphine for her. Her mental health has deteriorated a lot which I put down to her being frightened. On Saturday she had quiet a bad day and we were told to prepare but she's picked up again a bit. She's a tough woman!

Hi Tuff Have you contacted Marie Curie? I wonder if they are able to help. Have copied their link below:

www.mariecurie.org.uk/

Update (recently name changed but was Tuffgingernut)
Today my Nana was admitted to a Hospice for her last days/hours. Thank you all for the advice you provided me with. It made a huge difference in this overwhelming time. I've been able to take some time out to care for her recently and I will treasure the memories but her needs are now beyond our capabilities. The practical advice you gave me helped me and my Mum get everything sorted to benefit my Nana. Thank you.

Oh love I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending you and your family lots of love xx