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Original poster

The calm before the storm

999 replies

Willowkins · 02/06/2018 12:55

I previously posted under the title: I'm not OK - about my lovely DH with stage 4 bowel cancer.

We heard a few weeks ago that DH has refractory disease - basically the chemo is not working. We see the oncologist this week for the results of the latest MRI and hopefully a new plan but it's not looking good.

I am sitting here in the sunshine and the birds are singing but I know we have dark days ahead. I'm trying to stay strong for the family.

Just needed to share with you good folks as can't really talk about this in RL.

OP posts:
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notapizzaeater · 26/07/2019 21:23

@FiveGoMadInDorset shit shit shit - hoe it's as good as it can be xxx

yolofish · 27/07/2019 00:15

oh five, sending you all much love over the ether xx

FiveGoMadInDorset · 27/07/2019 11:24

DH passed away very peacefully this morning. The hospice were amazing and it was so quick

yolofish · 27/07/2019 16:59

I am so sorry for your loss five but thank god it was peaceful and quick. Sending you a handhold from a virtual stranger for the days and weeks ahead. Flowers

Frikonastick · 28/07/2019 07:23

My most sincere condolences five, wishing you strength and sending you love and light

Original poster
Willowkins · 28/07/2019 21:17

Just caught up Five and got a strange, hollow feeling as I read your news. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Sending you a handhold and an unmumsnetty hug Flowers

OP posts:
echt · 30/07/2019 11:17

So very sorry for your loss, Five but glad that its peacefulness comforted you. Thanks

FiveGoMadInDorset · 30/07/2019 22:03

So today we organised his funeral and it has been a bit trying balancing what we want to do with the wishes of his family who he was NC with, we have managed to get it pretty much how he wanted. Th funeral home has been amazing and organised all of it on site including booking the appointment with the registrar. Like @willowkins there is so much paperwork to do

notapizzaeater · 31/07/2019 08:11

Glad you've got it sorted, how are you all doing ?

Original poster
Willowkins · 31/07/2019 11:19

Anytime, you need info on the paperwork notapizza I'll gladly share what I've learned.

OP posts:
yolofish · 01/08/2019 20:22

just checking in to send you much love nota, and you willow, and all the rest xx

Original poster
Willowkins · 02/08/2019 13:25

Thanks yolo we are enjoying having a thoroughly lazy time on holiday in a place where no one knows our story

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 04/08/2019 23:05

This year can just fuck off.

Just had to leave My dog at emergency vet, he can’t weight bare at all on back half.

Add this to Hubbys diagnosis of lung cancer, my op that has had every bloody side effect known to man including an hernia and my dads hip operation that went wrong then him having a bloody heart attack on Friday.

yolofish · 05/08/2019 13:22

nota I am so sorry, sending you supportive hugs across the ether.
willow glad you are managing to escape for a bit.

seeing DH surgeon tomorrow, hopefully all will be fine - although he is still quite uncomfortable, had interesting experience of diarrhoea into bag overnight on Sat - I am sleeping in the spare room, god I wish for my own dear bed, but I am coughing like mad and he gets up in the night, so sleep seems like the best option.

notapizzaeater · 05/08/2019 16:45

@yolofish we've been in separate beds for weeks, he's the temp of the sun but still wrapped up like a bloody snowman and I can't stand being warm at night. And he's coughing all night.

We bought new mattresses last year and swopped them all around so the spare bed is comfy.

yolofish · 05/08/2019 21:49

nota any dog news? poor baby, that is absolutely the last thing you need at the moment. we lost our old boy last July while my mother was busy dying rather dramatically until November... DH got his diagnosis on Oct 6 and we got our new girl on Oct 13 - she has saved my life since then, given me something to smile about every single day. Our pets are so precious.

I quite like sleeping on my own, but need to get new mattress for spare bed! xx

Frikonastick · 06/08/2019 01:06

Hi everyone

nota hope your dog is ok, mine too has been in and out at the vets the last 2 weeks. She is 17 now, but still very sprightly. Has managed to somehow get an abscess in her eye! It’s the buggering around with all the different medications and having to come home in the middle of the day to administer that’s been a right pain in the arse.

DH and I still in the same room, but am going to have to do something about the spare room as neither of us is sleeping really. Not sustainable.

Our building works are nearly complete, am dreading getting a tenant in. Dreading it. I know it will be fine etc etc. But it’s so hard.

notapizzaeater · 06/08/2019 10:37

Testing

notapizzaeater · 06/08/2019 12:24

Testing

notapizzaeater · 06/08/2019 12:31

@yolofish hope today goes well with hospital

@Frikonastick - think ours will have to be crated - he's a very energetic 11 year bouncy dog ,..... could be fun.

My dad is still In hospital, but recovering

DH is still having kidney problems, waiting for urgent kidney referral to see what's happening

Dog, they think both his knees gone - an orthopaedic surgeon is looking at home this afternoon with his x Ray so will know more later. He's the family pet but he's DHs dog, he was in pieces this week. He's down enough at the min without this 😥😥

Glad you having a good holiday @Willowkins - I've booked a week away in Menorca - so only 2.45 hours away for the last week of the school holidays, taking my mum as DS eats his tea and buggers off back to the room. Insurance have confirmed they paying out for Mexico holiday - only took them 12 weeks !

notapizzaeater · 06/08/2019 12:32

@FiveGoMadInDorset hope everything is going as well as it can be

yolofish · 06/08/2019 16:21

Hospital was fine, although took forever. Surgeon confident they removed everything, more bloods done for cancer markers. So in theory we are off scot free... however I remembered recently that my maternal uncle died of bowel cancer, so we are being referred to genetics clinic which presumably means the DDs can be tested earlier than they otherwise would be. It's a funny old feeling, to have the sword of damocles removed, but yet not to be ecstatic? Life has changed so much in the last 14 months, and for DH forever.

fingers xd for everyone's pups, and for lovely holidays too.

notapizzaeater · 06/08/2019 21:43

@yolofish I don't think we will ever relax again tbh. Good they looking at genetic tests - my family all had heart screening 5 years ago. It found a few cases of cardiomyopathy but me and siblings all ok, but did pick up my brother has a leaky valve ( which is being operated on soon)

Dog is having TPOL surgery on Thursday on both knees

yolofish · 06/08/2019 21:52

oh everything xd for dog knees on Thurs nota I presume that will need masses of rest afterwards? when our old boy had an elbow replaced (aged 2!) I invested in some of those food treat things - they have to remove little lids in order to get to the food, doesnt take much movement but is quite stimulating. cant remember what it was called but can look it up for you. basically mental stimulation in absence of exercise, and making them work for their food etc.

notapizzaeater · 07/08/2019 08:00

@yolofish will google to see if I can find it, yes he will be crated during the day which will be hard - he loves destroying squeaky toys so will bulk buy some of them 😁😁