My best friend has just been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer

[Pandoraphile]

I've never had to deal with anything like this. She found a couple of lumps, went to her GP, was referred for a biopsy but was admitted before the results were back because she felt so ill. She's in an isolation room on an acute oncology ward. I saw her tonight and she looks awful. Fluid collecting all over her - hands, feet, chest, abdomen. She's very, very short of breath. She can't say a sentence without gasping.

I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

Sorry, should have said that it's a rare form of blood cancer. ATL.

I’m so sorry.
Do you know what treatment is being proposed and what the prognosis is?
Take your cue from her. She may be too tired and overwhelmed to even talk until she has processed it.

That’s tough. Does she have good family and other friends to be with her?

Thats terrible. Who is speaking for her? Do you know if they can treat it yet?

I haven't spoken to her immediate family because they're all in London and we're SE. They've done the first round of chemo but she didn't really say anything else. She wasn't with it. Ultimately she needs a bone marrow transplant but she's adopted so no familial link for her and she's black, which narrows the field I've been told.

So sorry 💐

It is really scary. Hoping for the best for her. And for you.

So sorry. I can totally relate as my best friend was diagnosed 9 months ago and is in her final days now. Totally different cancer to your friend. I hope it can be treated

Sorry to hear that, Springs It's all just such a shock and to see how ill she looks..... I just can't believe it.

What makes it worse is that I had a whole load of stupid photos we took one night (after a lot of wine!). They weren't exactly brilliant but they made us laugh 😂 I deleted them and the day before yesterday I emptied the deleted folder on my phone. All gone.

I'm so sorry.
On a practical note did you put the photos on FB? Send them to anyone? Are you connected to the cloud thingy.

No, I didn't do anything with the photos, sadly. They really were rubbish and I suppose I assumed that I could replace them any time I liked I don't think I do have iCloud backup but I'll check.

Sorry :(

So so sad. Things that can help are mints or,boiled sweets for a dry mouth, lip balm. A water spray mist for face to cool when she's hot (boots sell them). Sanitary products. Toxin free deodrant, perfume, toiletries. Magazines, pad and pen, tissues, wet wipes. Nice nightwear that's soft next to the skin.
Sending hugs.

There is a good information page here:

m.leukaemiacare.org.uk/t-cell-acute-lymphoblastic-leukaemia

Be very wary of googling about blood cancers. Treatments have improved enormously in the last decade or so, but there’s still quite a lot of the older info out there.

The acute leukaemias can be scarily fast, but they are also treatable and potentially cureable. She’s in the right place, the right treatment has started,

Will you be able to continue to visit, or is it complete isolation for now? Even if you haven’t much to say, it’s probably still worth being in touch with her family (are they able to visit? Can you help with their admin?)

And something you can do is get yourself on the bone marrow register, and publicise the need to everyone you can, the more people on the register, the better the chances of someone (your friend or someone just like her) finding a match

Back - thank you for that. I shall get those items for her. Her mouth did seem dry yesterday actually.

Vampire - that's really reassuring actually. I have googled a lot and it pretty much seems to be worst case scenario so I do need to step away from the internet and just focus on what this cancer means for HER.
I can still visit afaik.

Ps. Very good point about the bone marrow registry.