Stage 4 lung cancer

[jarviscockerslover]

Just that. Found out my dad (67) has this after being taken into hospital with suspected shingles a few weeks ago. I'm numb. Oncology appointment Tuesday but I'm just so so sad and scared.
I don't know what I'm asking for by posting here.. just needed to get it out.
Today my dad said 'I don't feel like I'm part of life anymore, I'm just a spectator. I just want to help. I want things back to normal . I'm so sad for my mum.
Fuck this

I'm really sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. It is a big shock

Hopefully you'll get some more information after Tuesday's appointment. It is always scarier when you don't really know what's going on.

Do you live nearby? Will you be able to provide practical support?

So sorry to hear this. My mum had the same she had an excellent treatment team and was free from pain throughout. They can do lots these days to manage and treat obviously depending on where original cancer was and how far it’s spread. Sending you much love x

Thank you both for responding I feel so alone. Yes I live near by - only 30mins away,Australia. I'm googling way too much and then regretting it.
I've literally just taken on a new job with lots of overseas travel (dream job) before I knew...which I am now completely regretting but don't think I can go back?
Also have s 4 year old who thinks grandad is the best thing in the world.,cannot contemplate telling her what's going on.
I read the prognosis is 2 months - 5 years... The worst is he does look sick!! If anything he looks healthier than ever. I'm so scared of a steep decline

He DOESNT look sick.
I'm a mess

It's weird. I also have stage IV cancer and look perfectly healthy.

Try not to read too much until he has seen the oncologist. There are different types of lung cancer and prognosis can depend on various factors. The oncologist will be able to give information specific to your dad's diagnosis.

So sorry to hear this. It's an awful disease I know. My husband had this and passed away a couple of years ago and I was left a widow at 46. He lived a year after diagnosis

Thank you for sharing your stories. I'm the 'strong one ' in the family but feel anything other than that right now. Leslie I'm so sorry to hear that you're in the same situation.
What would YOU want now from your family, how could they best support you?

I get a lot of practical support - lifts to the hospital, that sort of thing. That's very useful. Other than that I like things to be as normal as possible. I am lucky that I'm still in good health and able to do most things, so I just want to carry on having fun and enjoying time with the people I love. I found it difficult at first when everyone was really sombre all the time, like I'd already died! So I'd say it's obviously OK to show that you're upset by the news, but try and take cues from your dad and if he is trying to chat about happy things or joking or whatever, try and join in :)

Also don't stop sharing news about your own life, good and bad. I find myself losing my patience occasionally when people say they're "dying of a cold" or spend ages moaning about something very minor, but I still want to know what's happening in everyone else's lives. I feel really sad when people don't share bad news with me and let me support them as best I can.