Mum's Breast Cancer

[ifIwasinvisiblewaitIalreadyam]

My mum had her results today from her lumpectomy. Her cancer is in her lymphnodes so she has to have chemo then radio, but in between that she has to have her ovaries removed because of something to do with the tablet she takes after treatment.
I feel like everything isn't hitting me, and I know it's not happening to me, I just feel numb almost. Since I was 12 I have always internalised pain and upset, I'm always there for everyone else falling apart and don't feel like it helps anyone if I do too. I'm thinking positive and trying to keep busy and not think too much about anything.
I know she's upset because while she has treatment she won't be able to see my sons incase she gets a cold or anything that will stop her treatment. And she adores my boys. It's gonna be very very hard for her, in all aspects. I don't really know what to do or say to help. Sorry for long post x

I've got no experience of breast cancer but my mum has leukaemia so I know how you're feeling only too well. The numbness is entirely normal - it's a coping mechanism; I too try to keep everyone else going. I sway between numbness and being able to deal with it all, and then feeling like everything's collapsing and I can't breathe for crying.

In my experience the best thing you can do is to be there for her and provide a listening ear. Will she be in hospital for a while or can she recover at home?

I'd get your boys to make videos for her or draw her cards etc - my cousin sends photos and videos of her little boy and it cheers my mum up no end. We also just chat about boring everyday stuff, what I'm knitting, all that normal stuff. My dad and brother aren't very good at small talk whereas mum and I can gas on about all sorts for hours.

If she's back home after the op and you're nearby, making meals she can reheat will make life much easier. Or doing the shopping, running errands, cleaning the house. I find it easier to get on with the practical things as then I feel useful and like I'm helping. Nothing worse than feeling useless!