My brother is nearing the end

[NooNooHead]

I'm posting just to vent really and stop myself from feeling too sad.

I think the end is imminent as the doctors say it isn't looking good and he deteriorated last night and is now on a stronger drip of antibiotics.

My friend really pissed me off as she said 'remember life is important and you need to start believing in the posts you put on Facebook' (I post quotes about staying strong through adversity etc). I know she was only trying to help but it has fecking pissed me off as she is basically saying 'pull yourself together' conveniently forgetting all the other shit like my head injury, post concussion syndrome, incurable movement disorder, ectopic pregnancy etc that I have had to deal with - and now this. I know that she means well but I honestly don't know how much strength I can keep finding to push through adversity all the time. I just feel like I am constantly fighting stuff and I don't think I want to any more.😢

Sorry for the moan, things are making me more angry than I should be... 😳

I am really sorry

I hope that your brother is comfortable.

Your friend sounds rather unhelpful, to say the least. Can you just ignore her for now?

I'm so sorry Noonoo

You're totally entitled to feel angry - you're wise enough to know your emotions are mega heightened at the moment - completely normal under the circumstances.

Your priority is your brother, yourself and your family now and for the time being. Deep breaths, be kind to yourself, try to keep well hydrated and nourished and even if you cant sleep, try to rest when you can.

Sending you strength

How are your doing NooNoo ?

No apologies needed for your "moan". It isn't one.

The best possible interpretation of your friend is that she's responding to your "strength" posts, trying to be helpful. It's impossible to know what she's ignoring. Keep this in mind in your friendship.

Sorry to say this, but if you post those quotes on Facebook, then you'll get generic support, it's what you've put out there, and what people feel safe to respond to.Write/speak directly to her. Most people are only too glad to respond to direct invitations.

So sorry about your brother. So sad.

Holding your hand. Hugs for your brother and all the other things life has thrown at you xx

Thank you so much for all your replies.

I am just about coping at the moment, what with my recent redudancy and supporting my brother.

It is a very mixed bag of emotions; anticipatory grief for what I am going to lose; grief for my ectopic; grief for my loss of health with my head injury and subsequent ill health; grief for the relationship with my brother that I once had, that could have been and never was.

sigh Life goes on, and we cope. Thank you for your support and best wishes