Does this sound like it might be DF's last few days??

[JoyceDivision]

DF has pancreatic cancer, diagnised in Feb as terminal with 3 - 6 months.

DF now in hospital bed, went from chatting and sat on sofa when awake to now remaining in bed, slightly unsettled, grabbing at bedding, trying to talk. Has moments of clarity.

Nurses have been up three times today and begin administering some of the anticipatory meds.

Only been eating ice lollies past week or so and today not had anything to eat or drink...

I know is=t won;t follow an exact timeline but does anyone know what this sounds like??

Sorry to hear this Joyce. Depends on all sorts of things, but if there is no reversible cause for the decline then sadly I think your instincts are right, there may be just a few days now. My thoughts with you x
I hope your team will be able to help your DF achieve comfort and dignity.

The confusion and increased sleepiness sounds like it could well be a sign that he's nearing the end but nobody can ever say how long. Say the things you need to say and wait. It's all you can do. I hope you have some support?

thanks Rabbot, fingers crossed he will remain at home where he has been so far, if we achieve this then it will be a huge comfort toeveryone.

I was gutted when I went today and he had already spoken to my mum, telling her he was sure it was nearly the end and what he had wanted to say to her, then asked if we would get a neighbour who is lovely and has been visiting and quietly helping out to come across. They were talking in his room and he basically wanted to say thank you for being a good neighbour and friend, and to ask taht he didn't visit anymore as he felt he was going to be declining and he now wanted to be given privacy.

I'm trying very hard to have my big girl pants on, including not getting upsetwhen the preist visited but it's a bit hard

Yes Northern ,we have support thanks. Plus so far the district nurses have been absolutely amazing. I know macmillan nurses are good and are frequently recognised for their efforts but the district nurses so far have been absolutely fantastic and I can't praise them enough

My dad died of pc last November. He went downhill very fast at the end. He went into hospital a Sunday morning and died 2 weeks later. He was like this some days quite chatty and eating slightly, then slept for hours. He was restless and confused towards the end. From the wed before he died he didn't eat or drink anything and was mostly asleep. He died on the Saturday night. Just make the most of this time. Talk to him and make him as comfortable and pain free as possible.

Feeling for you Joyce. Its really tough, but such an important time, and ultimately helps you grieve, to be present and go through it with your dad, your mum and those close to you. I don't think there is any way to keep you big girl pants on through this, you will just pull them up when you need to (slightly unusual Pants of Bereavement metaphor!). Thoughts with you and yours x Keep chatting to the MNers if it helps, this place can be fantastic when you need somewhere to rage or cry whilst keeping your pants on in public.

Thank you Rabbit

It just ain't fair

Oh, Joyce, I'm so sorry.
Pancreatic cancer is a bastard. It sounds like your DF knows his body and what's going on.
Enjoy the moments of clarity, especially as near the end there aren't many. Had your DF expressed any wish about he wants 'to go'?
I'm so sorry to ask.... But it's a good thing to know.
My DF was very clear that he didn't want to feel pain, or to suffer, in his words. As soon as we knew he wasn't going to survive (dear God, that's an awful thing to write), we made sure he had a syringe driver in place with medication to control pain, keep him calm and control other symptoms.
Maybe you could make some plans with your family members and DF, if he's capable of talking about it, as to what you all feel is right.
Sending you massive hugs - it's such a horrible thing to go through.

'Has your DF' sorry....

Mine... yes, he wants to be at home if poss (we hope this willhappen) but if not happy togo to hospice.

At the outsethe said when asked by the nurses would he want to be awake/ sedated /asleephe said asleep, he just wanst to minimise pain, so far his morphine has kept his pain incheck.

He's been atpeace with his diagnosis so we have already discussed his funeral with him and have good idea of when he wants

GP should be coming tomorrow to arrange syringe driver

Lovely parish pries many moons ago used to be a nurse and when I called to mention some things to him this eve re dad he was talking about teh meds, howe some items dfbeing given over time can shorten life (not massively!) but talkedabout teh ridiculousness of the euthanasia debate when drugs the can help speed up the end are commonplace

I don't know if DFs drugsare serving this purpose (if they are I would be ok with that as they are bringing on an end and hopefully keeping him painfree which is ourmain aim)

The syringe drive can deliver morphine and other drugs too, at a very gentle but constant rate. It is a tiny needle, and doesn't hurt.
To speak about my experience, it was the kindest thing we could do for my DF. He slipped away, as calmly and peacefully as was possible.
I hope for the same for your Dad too.
I know it must be a terrible time for you. I'm thinking of you. Massive to you.

And... Get some rest. I know you must be exhausted with it all.