You poor thing, sounds like you've had a horrid time of it, especially getting so ill before it was detected. The week that my abscess was confirmed and drained was the most painful week of my life, I was on multiple painkillers but I couldn't do anything to escape from that pain. I didn't have a temperature, which I think is why my scan took a week to organise, but looking back I was ill from DS's birth onwards; I was constantly shivering and would sit with my thick dressing gown over my clothes with the heating on full and the hairdryer blowing onto me as I just couldn't t get warm, DH would get home from work and ask why the house was like a sauna but I thought it was due to newborn sleep deprivation! 
Weirdly my abscess was also on my left about an inch from my a hole. 
The CRS described it as being at the 2 o clock position. It's such a nasty condition to deal with and made worse that it's hard to explain what you're going through to other people as it's such a complicated and undignified thing. It's really nice to hear from someone who understands the reality of living with the condition! My DH and DM have been amazing and have a good understanding as they've taken it in turns to come to my appointments with the CRS. The rest of my family and close friends have been supportive but the amount they know varies as I've tried to preserve some dignity! My boss knows that I'm having treatment to fix the damage done by an abscess on my 'pelvis' that occurred in pregnancy, they haven't pushed for details and have been really flexible about time off for appointments/surgery and me working at home a lot to avoid discomfort sitting at a desk. I hope your return to work goes ok. When I had my first seton in June I was still on maternity leave. When I started back at work in August with my seton I was quite nervous being in the office, I found it helped to have an emergency kit in my bag with flushable wipes, a small magnifying mirror, hand sanitiser, cotton pads, dressings and sanitary pads. I never had need to use them as by then my seton was draining very little by then but it just gave me confidence being away from the safety of my own bathroom! What does your work know of your condition? I hope they're being understanding for you.
My DS is now 15 months. He's an absolute joy and the light of my life. 
It's definitely been hard work getting grips with motherhood and dealing with these health issues at the same time. I've tried to time changing dressings and sitz baths with his naps, but there have been some especially stressful moments when he's woken screaming wanting to be held and doesn't understand 'mummy will be two minutes, she's just changing her bandage')! But generally he's a very calm little boy which has made things easier, he's given me a reason to get up on days when I've been fed up with a lack of healing progress and has been a great distraction from dwelling on things! I hope you're looking forward to your DS's birthday! It must have been difficult juggling health issues with a toddler?
My recovery from the laying open is going ok, it was quite painful and bled quite a bit for a few days but the pain and bleeding have died down a lot over the last few days. I went to see my local nurse on Wednesday (1 week post op) as I just wanted her to check it looked healthy, she was really reassuring. I know her very well after 6 months of daily packing last year, she said she was happy to check it anytime as she understands how much I worry after all I've gone through with it, so I might go back next week since I don't see the CRS again until 8 weeks post op.
I really hope you're doing ok, how long did your surgeon say your seton would need to be in for? Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you lots of healing! 