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Original poster

Small Cell Lung Cancer - growth in the brain?

83 replies

Katymac · 04/02/2016 20:37

Dad has been ill for some time - he is now dying

The growth in his brain is what he will die of - but how will he die?

Will he just go to sleep, or have a stroke or an aneurysm or a heart attack

Everyone is being vague & despite saying he could have morphine at 'any time' now he has asked for it they have given him antidepressants Angry

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Original poster
Katymac · 15/02/2016 21:19

My brother is over - a little illogical but here

Pops is failing fast - eating/not eating - it varies

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LavenderRain · 15/02/2016 22:40

Oh that's tough. I'm sure it's not illogical for your bro to be there. He must want to see his dad.
Stay strong, be kind to yourself ((hugs))

Original poster
Katymac · 15/02/2016 23:43

Sorry I meanthis reaction has been illogical - apparently my Dad may live for ages yet Hmm

I hope everyone's loved ones are warm & safe & not in pain

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LavenderRain · 16/02/2016 06:44

Oh bless you Flowers
some people the male species I find like to bury their head in the sand as they can't face the truth.
its probably harder for him as he's not seen the gradual decline in your dad that you have. I guess it might be more of a shock for him and may take a while to sink in.
I hope you dad is comfortable and knows he's loved 🌹

Original poster
Katymac · 25/02/2016 14:53

He's very agitated today so thedoctor has prescribed a patch which will 'calm' him -sedation I guess

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Sonnet · 25/02/2016 15:02

So sorry to hear you are going through all this - it must be horrendous for you all.

I lost a my Dad last May so can relate to some of what you are going through.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers xx

Sometimesithinkimbonkers · 25/02/2016 15:12

Katy I'm so sorry you are going through this.... We lost our mum in June 2014 although it could have been yesterday.
DH had SCLC with liver mets. She was only dx 6 weeks before she died and 7 weeks before dx she was on holiday in Mexico with her friends. Symptoms began when she seemed dehydrated when she got home.

The timeline for us was nothing like the one published above. Mum died on Sunday afternoon. She went to chemo appointment but they said just palliative care. She was tired but still up and about. She ate and drank well until Thursday night and then just ate bits. She sat in her favourite armchair until Saturday night and we got a bed from upstairs down and waited for the hospital bed. She still dpoke to me throughout the Saturday and the early part of Sunday but by mid morning Sunday she said nothing s d mainly slept. Her eyes flickered open now and again and she sometime reached out to the person talking with both arms.
She very quietly passed on Sunday afternoon. He friend is a vicar and visited without his robes on Sunday morning .... He arrived in the afternoon with his bible and she passed just after her last rites.
So very quick and very different .... My thoughts are with you all ... I hate SCLC X

Fauchelevent · 25/02/2016 15:26

Hi Katy,

Almost two weeks ago I was going through this - sadly lost my Mum on the 12th. She had colon cancer which had metastatised (sp?) to her lungs and body.

What happened with my Mum is that on the 5th she had a brain haemorrhage and was unresponsive all day, they operated as just the day before she was fit, ready to come home and energetic (she only got diagnosed in Jan). After the op she was fine and practically her old self, but progressively became more sleepy, less co ordinated and more confused throughout the week until she was at the stage your father is at now - her stats were low and she too was on oramorph. Her last day, she was very very sleepy - didn't respond at all and just slept. The doctors decided not to medically intervene. In the night she had several seizures and by morning her breathing was very heavy and her heartbeat very fast. Eventually, it slowed down quite peacefully until her breathing and heart stopped altogether - the last hour was a very smooth transition as crude as it sounds. Almost like she fought and fought and then just relaxed. We had time to hug and say goodbye.

I can't say it will be the same with your Dad, but from what other posters have said and my experience I would say it's likely that there will be a peaceful transition to the end - maybe a little bit distressing for you if his breathing quickens or there are seizures, but the end is smooth and it is a relief to know they were at peace in the last moments. I think you will know when those moments will be, so you can be there with him if you wish or if it is possible.

I hope this provides some comfort in what is truly an unimaginably difficult time. For me, the ending was like a big relaxation for my mum and it made saying goodbye easier to "see" that it was peaceful for her. I don't really know how she died, and I'm not sure I want to because it's more relaxing to feel that her brain, heart and lungs just let go and now she's not stressed or in pain or sick but rather lying on a beach with a white wine spritzer, after fifty seven years of never really getting to relax!

Please PM me if you want to chat - I've handled it pretty well so you won't be upsetting me and it has been only two weeks so I can really understand.

All the best Katy, remember it's okay to not always be strong, to feel vulnerable and to let people help you :)

Fauchelevent · 25/02/2016 15:32

I also just want you to know that I really did fear the end but it's not as scary as I expected. My fingers were laced with hers and I could feel my mums pulse until I couldn't. And then I said to the nurse calmly "I think that's it, there's no more pulse" and she agreed, and got a doctor to confirm it. Despite also being with a toxic great-aunt at my mums bed, the end was very calm.

And even on the very day, I was able to laugh, smile and joke with family and I have been able to since. You /will/ see sunshine again. The phrase that has got me through thi is "even after the darkest night, the sun dawns". My thoughts are with you.

Original poster
Katymac · 25/02/2016 16:23

Thanks everyone

The doctor said today they didn't expect him to last 6 weeks when he was diagnosed & it's over 20 months since that

They keep saying it's imminent

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KittyOShea · 25/02/2016 16:35

Katy I remember that was really hard with my dad at the end (lung cancer with secondary bone and liver). We were told he wouldn't last the weekend and he lasted another 3 weeks.

The hard part of that was no one wanted to leave just in case (and all of us live at least 4 hours away). The good part was we all spent his last 3 weeks with him.

My dad didn't really sleep at all until the day he died. He asked that morning if we had a grave organised for him- I think he knew he couldn't fight any more. That evening he slept peacefully and passed away surrounded by us all.

It's such a tough time. Flowers

Original poster
Katymac · 25/02/2016 20:57

Time off work is always an issue

Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories with me

I am a bit down tonight

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KittyOShea · 25/02/2016 21:04

You must be Katy. It's so hard. If it's any consolation I think we ended up doing a lot of our grieving before dad died. The part you're going through now was the worst for me Flowers

Fauchelevent · 25/02/2016 21:09

I agree with Kitty, this period you're in was almost like the grieving period for me as my Mum was not the woman I knew for weeks, but afterwards it gets a lot less difficult.

What helped me was funny vines, MN classics and really light things. Movies without fail would trigger sadness in some way, even the smallest comment would bring me back to feeling sad. Also try Sporcle.com. Really good for distraction.

Original poster
Katymac · 25/02/2016 21:31

I get to my mum's about twice a day just for an hour or so

He has helpers in the morning & my mum nips out to get shopping & a paper - she has asked for someone to sleep in over night so she can go to bed rather than sleep on the sofa

I don't think I could sit up with him as I have CFS/FM and my sleep patterns are a bit suspect anyway

I read crappy free books on my Kindle as displacement

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Original poster
Katymac · 26/02/2016 10:46

Despite the patch he is even more agitated & distressed today

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KittyOShea · 26/02/2016 11:02

That happened my dad for a wee while Katy. Takes them a wee while to get the medication exactly right for each individual. Let his doctors know so they can adjust or add something if necessary. It's very distressing when that happens x

Original poster
Katymac · 26/02/2016 21:52

He has had 2 injections now

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LavenderRain · 26/02/2016 21:55

Thinking about you Katy Thanks xx

Original poster
Katymac · 27/02/2016 09:23

Happy Birthday Pops

He is only 72! - 2 yrs ago he was building a boat & digging holes in the garden

Thanks LavenderRain

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Original poster
Katymac · 27/02/2016 11:53

They are 'fixing'? a driver later today - great birthday present Hmm

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KittyOShea · 27/02/2016 12:54

Thinking of you Katy. The driver really helps with the pain x

KittyOShea · 27/02/2016 13:20

Thinking of you Katy. The driver helps a lot with pain x

Original poster
Katymac · 27/02/2016 18:30

He's not really in pain but he very agitated - they appear to have over dosed him last night Hmm

& DD has told me not to tell her if he dies until after her assessments (Tues/Wed/Thurs) - I'm not sure I can do that

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Original poster
Katymac · 27/02/2016 18:33

They didn't do the driver

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