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Life-limiting illness

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Hes ready to stop treatment

5 replies

Ludoole · 20/09/2015 01:29

Since diagnosis, its been palliative treatment only. I knew that.
However now hes talking about stopping that altogether.... I understand hes reasons and have propnised to support him but im devastated..

OP posts:
Ludoole · 20/09/2015 01:30

*promised ffs!!

OP posts:
echt · 20/09/2015 08:38

So very hard for you, Ludoole. Every moment counts, and I can barely imagine your pain. I wish you the strength to bear your DH's possible decision, and to make your time together a good one.

daisydotandgertie · 20/09/2015 08:47

Oh, I'm sorry. I know exactly how you must be feeling - we met on the DH with cancer thread I think.

Has something happened to make him feel like that? My DH talked about doing the same thing - he didn't in the end, but just raising it devastated me.

Ludoole · 20/09/2015 18:14

Daisy, he started a new chemo (Irinotecan) last week and reacted badly so they stopped the session. It knocked him about dreadfully. Previously he was on Oxiplatin and Avastin but it wasnt working :(
They were talking about trying a lower dose of the new stuff but the reaction he had has really put him off.
He's also fed up of all the hanging around before appointments and treatment sessions as the chemo unit is generally running 2 hours late every single time... If hes having a good day he doesnt mind but hes in pain now about 90% of the time and sitting around when he feels so ill doesnt help his mindset.

OP posts:
daisydotandgertie · 21/09/2015 06:47

It's frightening, treatment. Especially when it goes wrong. I so hope he moves on from this - I think your DH and mine had cancers in similar places and it is hard, hard, hard. We were also palliative from the outset.

My DH and I had only 7 months from diagnosis, and without the palliative chemo, we would have had far less than that. Is there someone he can talk to honestly at the hospital?

One thing I learned though is that the doctors are very quick to pull treatment if someone isn't strong enough to take it. If they're talking about continuing with it, even in a reduced form, it's worth listening!

I can really identify with the resentment about the unit though - they have such disrespect for the life of patients in the oddest way. They spend a fortune and lavish care to try and prolong life, but take over your day to day life completely. I have never felt a loss of control like it. My DH kept working throughout his treatment, and he was infuriated so many times by late appointments, time wasting and the feeling that the hospital expected him to just drop everything and dance to their tune. It is hard enough having terminal cancer, without feeling as though the life you have left belongs to the hospital.

With all my heart, I hope he moves on from wanting to stop treatment; in your shoes and mine every extra day means the world.

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