Helping my DD5 deal emotionally with my cancer

[f1fan2015]

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 colon cancer last December and had an operation to remove the tumour. It had not spread to the lymph nodes but was very close to the blood supply so I had oral chemo to prevent it spreading. Unfortunately it turned out to be a sneaky little so and so and it managed to spread to my right ovary and I ended up with a full hysterectomy in June. I am now classed as Stage 4 but am cancer free as the PET scan at the beginning of this month showed no traces (my surgeon is excellent but I may need to start believing in miracles!). I am now having FOLFOX 6 chemo treatment every 2 weeks which involves wearing a pump attached to a Portocath for 46 hours.

We have been open about my illness with my daughter whilst not revealing just how life threatening the cancer and operations were. We have been matter of fact about everything and I thought she was coping well with mummy being ill and how that has affected my life and hers. However she has started acting out at school - being aggressive and bursting into tears out of the blue. The school know about my illness and are supporting my daughter. They do role play and use puppets to encourage her to open up about her feelings and to try and discourage the aggression. I have also talked to her about my feelings about my illness and asked her to tell me how it makes her feel. I mentioned this to my Oncologist this morning and he recommended buying some age appropriate books about illness and cancer for us to read and talk about.

Can anyone recommend any books for me to buy or know of any websites that have suggestions for people in this situation?

I can't help with your question but wanted to send you my love. Very tough for you and your family. Best wishes to you

Crikey F1

The Macmillan and cancer research UK websites are worth a look.

There certainly used to be an organisation called cancer bacup (?bakup) but they may well have been taken over by Macmillan. They had a chuffing brilliant helpline with the loveliest advisors imaginable - presumably if they have been taken over then Macmillan will have a similar setup. They might be worth a call.

Do you have a clinical nurse specialist? May be worth a conversation with them to see what they would recommend.

Fwiw it sounds like you're doing everything exactly as recommended x

Thanks SilverShins trying to stay positive, am in a better place than most people with Stage 4 so that gives me hope

Thanks Ohfourfoxache (good nickname) but the added complication to all this is I am in not in the UK - sorry that is really relevant to the advice people will give and I forgot to mention it in my OP.

I keep dipping into the online stuff Cancer Research and the Bowel Cancer charity have so I will post on their forums tomorrow. I am losing myself in Mumsnet at the moment so thought I would ask here before heading back to the scarey sites with lots of facing up to reality as well as support.

Unfortunately the set up medically here is totally different. I almost wish I was using the good old NHS just for the support that you are given or can ask for. My Oncologist offered this morning to give me information on counselling available here but am hoping it won't come to that. My daughter has just changed class and I am hoping that once she settles with her new teacher and gets over the cold she has along with talking, that things will sort themselves out.

Morning f1, bumping for you

ty

I ordered books from here

www.cancer.org/cancer/bookstore/acs-books-for-children

They are from the US but ship worldwide.