Was 1st Time TTC - Now Stage 4 Cancer

[an0nan0nan0n]

After much deliberation my husband and I started TTC for the 1st time this May. I'm 33, fit, healthy, eat well. He is 37.
In July I was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I had surgery last week to remove primary tumor. Due to start chemo in a couple of weeks.
Went to IVF last week, going to freeze some eggs before chemo starts, but I really don't know if I'll ever be in a position to carry a child now.
Its such early days, its so overwhelming. 2 months ago life was PERFECT.
I still have so much to find out - the Oncologists/specialists are keen for me to have chemo but they make it sound like I don't have a chance anyway.
I want to be informed, and make the best choices, but I'm also trying not to google. Anyone out there had a baby with stage 4?

Hello, an0nan. I'm not competent to answer your questions about cancer and TTC, but the MNers on this thread will be a mine of information and support. So very sorry to hear of your diagnosis. All the very best.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2428777--Tamoxigang-53-Roll-up-roll-up-Anyone-with-any-cancer-or-test-waiting-welcome

An0nan I'm so sorry to hear the news of your diagnosis. Sadly I know the feeling of your world been ripped up in front of you. It's 3.5 months since my dh was diagnosed. We did consider sperm storage but we are fortunate to have 2 young dc. However the ideal that the decision was been made for us (no more dc) was unbearable for a while.
Now I'm trying to focus on the positive of each day. I hate the feeling of being out of control and decisions been forced upon us but I've slowly realised that there are some things I can decide on.
Just like you. You've made the decision to freeze some eggs and that's the best chance that you can give yourself for the future.
I really hope you will be able to have a baby and that the future shows that to be the case and

Thank you echt for your kind words and for that link. I get a bit overwhelmed by massive threads but on the other hand it's a big community to share in which I'm sure will be valuable.
Findingthissohard thank you for your kindness and understanding. It really is beyond words isn't it. Today is 1 month from the day I got my 1st worrying symptoms. So much about what is happening is unthinkable, including the idea of leaving my husband behind without the family we dreamed of. Thanks again for sharing your story with me xx

Didn't want to read and run. I have no advice but just want yo say I'm sorry for your news.
I do know that bowel cancer is one of the easier ones to cure.
Your head will be all over the place atm so please don't decide against freezing your eggs.

Life really does fly by, the chemo will be over before you know it and then you can decide what's what.

Thank you, Zazzabeans. And you're right, I am totally going ahead with freezing eggs, even though right after surgery and bad news is a terrible time due to abdominal pains and emotions, but we might just get this one shot as a collection so we're totally going for it.

keep that positive attitude up and keep thinking of the future

It really is unthinkable, isn't it? And it's also strange how this overwhelming nightmare becomes normal!
I'll be keeping everything crossed that once this chemo is through, then you can use those frosties! Chemotherapy hasn't been as bad as my dh or I thought it would be. The sickness and nausea has been so well managed it's been non existent. I remember my gran being so Ill with it 20yrs+ ago. So I'm so impressed with how it's all managed.
Howi s your dh coping with this? Hope he is able to be supportive. it does sound like you are doing brilliantly.

Thanks Findingthissohard
I'm actually not that worried about what chemo might be like (except - will it hurt my chances of carrying a child?) Perhaps this is the mindset of someone who's never been very ill before, but I feel like I'm prepared to take a real bashing from the chemo... if only it would do the job and make the cancer disappear... but that is not really what they seem to be offering. Which makes me wonder what is the point? I guess if it doesn't make me too sick then I may as well try...
Glad to hear your dh is not too sick with it - I guess we have age and technology on our side.
My husband is being amazing - so strong and supportive and brave.
Often I think that neither of us have really come to terms with what is happening, and that is why we seem to be handling things so well.

Where else has the cancer spread to OP?