My Grandmother is dying of cancer.
I lived with her for 15 years, she was practically my mother, so we are close. She is at home at the moment, but things are becoming difficult.
Over the last week, she has changed. Her breathing is laboured, she has slight jaundice (not of the eyes), also ascites (no treatment/drain offered) but she can still sit in a chair. Her face has changed. She can't stand up unaided, she can't raise her feet.
Her eyes are prominent/staring, her nose looks more pointed. I know she is losing weight fast, but she looks like a different person, and my children are scared by it.
The change is quite extraordinary, she looks like a different person.
She seems so different. She asks the odd question (it is hard for her to talk, she has oxygen supplied) sometimes pertinent and 'in the moment' but sometimes harking back to years ago, when different people were there.
The district nurses only visit once a week, Macmillan only seem to care about paperwork and practical stuff, they have only spoken to us on the phone, not visited.
My Grandmother looks so different, it's as though her body wants to distance itself from us, but she is fighting it... she can't/won't acknowledge that death is imminent, so I fall into thinking she will round a corner and buck up.
She speaks of what she will buy for Christmas/autumn/future birthdays, but none of those she will be here for.
Google says her symptoms point to only having days left, but I can't tell. Should we be there all the time now? Or can we wait for the weekend?
The summer holidays mean my young children are ever present, but three children in the house, hardly recognising the person they see, are not conducive to an easy passing.
I don't know what to do. I have never known anyone with these symptoms, the medics/carers seem to think a 'well we'll see' attitude is fine.
Days, or weeks?
She just physically all of a sudden looks so different.