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Life-limiting illness

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Original poster

A thread for those supporting relatives with life limiting diseases.

778 replies

CharleyDavidson · 13/07/2015 19:42

I know a lot of people come onto here because they are suffering themselves but I wondered if there would be a use for a thread for those who are supporting those who are suffering. Being strong for someone else is HARD and this could be a place to discuss the things that we are up against.

My own dad has a prognosis of a few months for a cancer diagnosis and it's just awful to see how ill he is and how sad he is about things. :(

OP posts:
CookieWarbler · 13/08/2017 11:18

Myguide I think getting signed off is not a bad idea. This is a massively stressful thing you're dealing with and going to work will only exacerbate that stress. Maybe give the GP a ring in the morning. I hope your Dad is as well as can be today Flowers

MyGuideJools · 13/08/2017 17:35

Thanks cookie a couple of relatives visited dad in hospital today and I could see how shocked they were at how much weight he's lost. We pushed dad to the hospital coffee shop in his wheelchair and oxygen which was nice.
He's stuck in hospital until the home oxygen can be set up.

Does anyone know how long this takes to sort? Will ask the nurse specialist tomorrow but there are none around at the weekend

MyGuideJools · 09/09/2017 16:51

Just came on to say my wonderful dad passed away this week. He had cancer but pneumonia got him in the end. It was awful watching him struggling to breathe, he's at peace now but I miss him so much Sad

whatisforteamum · 10/09/2017 20:08

Hi everyone after a.stressful five weeks again of radiotherapy and icv antibiotics Dad is at journeys end :( he has been in hospital now in a nursing home but wdidnt want to live anymore now he couldn't walk.Then this week he became confused and the gp decided it was probably the cancer going to his brain plus hypercalcemia and uti.Saturday the death rattle started and today he is on a syringe driver mostly out of it but bring up brown gunk from his chest.We don't think he has long left now.Love to.all on this page xx

MyGuideJools · 10/09/2017 20:12

whatisforteamum Flowers my thoughts are with you, I've just been through this last week. There are no words xx

CookieWarbler · 10/09/2017 21:19

myguide and whatis I'm so sorry to hear your news. My thoughts are with you Flowers

whatisforteamum · 10/09/2017 23:02

Myguidejools I am sorry for your Loss .It is strange to think I was one of the first posters on here and testament to the fact has given his prognosis a run for its money.
Please tell us about your lovely Dad jools.I will read some of the latest post when I get a moment. X

whatisforteamum · 11/09/2017 12:38

My darling Dad just died.I wish it were sooner but at least he isn't suffering :(

MyGuideJools · 11/09/2017 15:24

whatisforteamum Flowers I'm so sorry.
There are no words, like my dad, all I could take comfort in was the fact that he was at peace and no longer suffering. xx

whatisforteamum · 11/09/2017 16:43

Thank you.How have you been feeling? I think I may have to go to work before the funeral but I'm scared I will suddenly be hit with the enormity of it all xx

MyGuideJools · 11/09/2017 17:46

what I'm up and down. Suddenly I will read or think of something and burst into tears. Tesco was a challenge earlier as I saw dad's favourite sweets! My GP is fab, she was also dad's GP, she signed me off for 2 weeks. You need to think about yourself. I sorted flowers today, another challenge! ⚘

FuzzyCustard · 15/09/2017 18:52

I'm so sorry MyGuide and what for loss of your dads. Wishing you peace...keep on keeping on.

whatisforteamum · 15/09/2017 22:33

Thank you .I've achieved loads...disposing of end of life meds at the pharmacy doing mums chores and sorting qa venue for the wake.Very surprisingly doing OK however I broke down earlier when I was on my own and thinking of this time last week seeing Dads sudden decline.:( Day by day then seeing how life goes back at work before the funeral.

groovejet · 22/09/2017 17:53

I have not been on this thread for ages, my Dad had just been diagnosed at the start of the thread.

Whatis I am so so sorry to hear about your Dad, you provided me with such great support when my Dad was ill and I am truly sorry for your loss xx

Myguide, my sympathies to you as well for the loss of your Dad xx

whatisforteamum · 23/09/2017 19:25

Hi Groovejet thank you so much.How are things with you? We have dads funeral Tuesday that is when it will hit me I think.I've been so busy I've barely cried
My guidejool s how are you?Does it get harder a few weeks on? My colleagues didn't mention why I was off so that is weird only my boss said sorry but perhaps because I'm new they don't know what to say.
I feel like I'm coping too well iyswim.Is Charley Davidson still around?I wondered how you are 18 months on and if you. Could give us advise please on the road ahead.love to all on here..

MyGuideJools · 23/09/2017 21:30

Hi what we had the funeral on Wednesday. It's was tough but a lovely service. Lots of people had such nice things to say about dad, I think he would have been proud.
I'm sorry to say but I've actually been worse since the funeral. I keep crying at random moments, wishing he was still here to share things. I miss him so much.

Original poster
CharleyDavidson · 23/09/2017 21:45

I'm glad this thread is still providing help/comfort to some, quite a while after it was started.
Sad that so many people find themselves in the same, heartbreaking position.

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 23/09/2017 21:48

Whatis, I remember you from earlier in the thread. So sorry to read your news. Flowers

FuzzyCustard · 24/09/2017 11:26

I'm still here. DH is still here. But I am finding it hard to carry on. |tried to organise some counselling through Macmillan, but it seems impossible to arrange.

whatisforteamum · 24/09/2017 21:52

The rugby club did a minutes silence before the game which was moving.I suspected after the funeral will be harder.and so far people have made great tributes to Dad which is heartwarming and sad in equal measure.I am fully for euthanasia since seeing Dad so very I'll for weeks.It is cruel to keep patients in that health and also dad didn't want Mum to watch him like that as she has battled cancer too.

MyGuideJools · 24/09/2017 21:53

fuzzy ⚘I'm sorry you are struggling x

FuzzyCustard · 25/09/2017 18:44

Thank you jools. I think it is the "there is no cure for this" that hits me now and again. All this effort and if we are lucky it will buy a few more years. Unfair just doesn't sum it up!

MyGuideJools · 25/09/2017 19:05

fuzzy 💕 it is so unfair, my dear dad was just looking to start paliative chemo but couldn't as he had an infection which was in fact double pneumonia. He died before any treatment but if I'm totally honest I don't think he would have coped with chemo. I am thinking it could have been a blessing. But of course I would still do anything to have dad back in his favourite chairSad

yawning801 · 25/09/2017 19:07

Can I just say I think you're all mega strong? I can't bear to think of what you must be going through. Flowers for all.

FuzzyCustard · 25/09/2017 19:18

Ah yawning, I don't believe in strong. We are all just doing what is needed to get through each day. The alternative is to curl up weeping in a corner....and there have been many times when that was a reality!