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Life-limiting illness

Dad has bowel cancer, struggling to handle the shock in early pregnancy

8 replies

1wokeuplikethis · 09/06/2015 14:23

I'm very close to my dad and just found out at the weekend he has bowel cancer. We are waiting to find out if it has spread and what stage it is, what treatment he will need.

I am heartbroken.

Added to this, I am five weeks pregnant and trying desperately hard to be stoic and detached (unsuccessfully) as I am terrified that the upset could harm my baby. I'm at a loss of what to do and how to handle this.
Today is my first day back at work and I'm just hitting buttons and swirling my mouse, my head isn't here at all.

The few people I've told have said to be brave etc and think of the baby. Try and be 'numb'. Which I've been doing as best I can but every now and then the news hits me like a bus and I'm in tears again.

If anybody has any tips on compartmentalising this devastating news I would really appreciate it as I don't think I'm doing a very good job so far.

OP posts:
Sgtmajormummy · 09/06/2015 21:20

Only a few words of comfort. My mum had bowel cancer 18 years ago and is still very much with us! It's one of the easiest types to operate and remove. Take care of yourself Flowers and I hope you get more constructive advice from other posters.

1wokeuplikethis · 10/06/2015 09:24

Thank you.

We are doing our best to stay positive, keep away from Google and just try and wait as patiently as possible for the outcome.
I feel a bit better today, think it is sinking in more.

OP posts:
oldfatandtired1 · 10/06/2015 21:58

My mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer last October (aged 84). They removed the part of the bowel where the tumour was and 8 months on she's fit and healthy and enjoying life. As Sgtmajor says it's one of the easiest types to operate on. It's hard but try and remain positive.

wigglesrock · 12/06/2015 11:01

Just popping on to offer a hug - my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer in late November 2014, he had his operation to remove the tumour in the first week of December, the operation went well, the bowel was successfully resected and he felt a lot more positive after the op. He then decided to have a course of chemo (tablets), which he finished a few weeks ago. We are all going on holiday in 2 weeks time (all 11 of us!). It's been a horrible horrible time but he's doing really well now.

The wait before the scan to find out if it had spread was the worst time, I don't think we ate, slept or properly breathed. Take care of yourself, babies are very resilient especially when they're in your tummy, but try and sleep if you can. I'm thinking of you and your family and I hope you get positive news from the scan x

nancy75 · 12/06/2015 11:10

My Mum had bowel cancer 10 years ago - she is also alive & well and probably the healthiest person I know.
I hope you get good news

triplets · 18/07/2015 00:03

Cancer is scary, cancer is a shock, my triplets were only 9 when their Dad was diagnosed in 2008. It had spread to his liver. He is now in his 4th year of remission, the treatment is good. You will find the strength as will your Dad and it won`t be long until he is holding his grandchild. xx

justonemorethread · 19/07/2015 22:52

From a practical point of view ( I am 10wks now, was 6wks when went through z very upsetting experience with sick mum last month)
Devote your energy only to importantthings, eexplain to your boss about your dad, and, if appropriate your early stage pregnancy.

Slack off a bit at work if you are tired.DDon't do extra thing s if you feel overwhelmed, just go home and lie down for a bit. I have had cramps during some of the worst days and have learnt to take everything more easily while going through a tough period. Don't forget to eat well and rest, so you can support your dad as best you can, as well as yourself. Everything else can wait@

Gradetwolisted · 19/07/2015 23:08

Please don't panic. I was diagnosed 6 years ago. Treatment was lengthy but we got there in the end and the chances are so will your Dad. I have had 5 beautiful grandchildren since my illness .Congratulations on your pregnancy...looking forward to a grandchild will help your Dad no end.

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