MS and horrifically embarrassing accident (TMI alert)

[HesNotTheMessiah]

I have MS am 40 and been with the husband for going on 20 years. We are still madly in love and have an active sex life (even though I'm unable to walk). Everything South of the waist is useless.

I'm so sorry for TMi but I can't write this post without it as it's relevant. We were having sex the other night and I was on top, when all of a sudden I had a non wee accident. Obviously in the position we were in he took some of the brunt of it. I have never been so embarrassed, mortified and felt so downright awful in my life. I burst into tears. DH got a shower as did I. He was comforting and reassuring and said more than once 'it doesn't matter'. To me it does, and to him it must

I will be petrified of ever going near him again, and to be honest, how is he ever going to want me/find me attractive again?

I can understand you feeling the way you do.

But, if it were the other way round how would you feel about him?

Personally, I love my husband so much that anything like that wouldn't bother me.

I'm so sorry, you must be mortified. Honestly though, you said he was comforting and reassuring...listen to what he's saying, he doesn't care. He loves and wants you, so try and take a big breath and move on... I understand how horrible you must feel though :(

My husband has issues with incontinence. I have cleaned poo off his trousers before. He is slowly coming to terms with it but finds it very humiliating. I love him though. And I would do anything for him. Your DH sounds great.

One day you will laugh about this. Honestly. I know it doesn't seem like it now but if you are in a loving supportive relationship, chances are you can get over most things.

Poor you. That is embarrassing but I agree with the poster who said to imagine if it was the other way around. He probably felt terrible for you.

Oh poor you, that is a horribly embarrassing thing to happen.

But please don't find this offensive, I find it amazing that you have an active sex life when you are ill. I have a neurological condition, the steroids used to treat it suffocate my libido, and even though dh is lovely and understanding he feels rejected and we are missing a lot of closeness as a couple. I wish I could fix it but I can't.

You don't have that issue, and it would be awful if you let this accident affect your sex life. So much is taken away when you are ill, and I think you and your dh must have put a great deal into keeping it fun, so you should be able to get past this together and keep enjoying sex. As long as it is fun and comfortable for you both nothung should stop you.

Oh gosh. I can understand you being mortified but listen to what your husband is saying.

He obviously loves you and if in that moment of shock (for you both) his first thought is of you and to comfort you that is his honest thoughts. He didn't recoil and manage to regain his composure the next day, he straight away understood it for what it was - a consequence of a horrible neurological condition and no indication of you as a person.

Oh thank you so much for your lovely replies, I just hope that you're right and he really doesn't mind. I feel I have been robbed of a lot of things due to this disease, but I'm determined that this won't be one of them (at the moment it's easy for me to say, but quite something else to overcome).

Thanks again.

All part of married life. On our first day back from honeymoon, and start of our married life together, DH threw up and then pooed all over the bed. Dodgy KFC in Bangkok airport. I had to strip him and the bedding.

I'm sure your DH will forgive you!

The night dp was diagnosed with cancer i stayed with him in hospital. He went to the toilet, forgot he had a hospital gown on and there was poo everywhere....
He was mortified but allowed me to help him instead of the nurse. This is a man who has always left the room to pass wind...
Please dont be mortified. We can all have accidents.
Seeing dp covered in poo (and also now in his colostomy bag) doesnt affect how much i love and fancy the pants off him!!

In the end it's just poo. It could have been blood, wee, snot, vomit, pus etc
Actually, it could have been worse. What if he was umm, how shall I put this...a cunning linguist? He would have copped a face full.
He has been with you from the start I presume? He would have done research and probably knows these things happen.
Be embarassed for as long as you need then laugh about it.
It's all you can do.

Honey, I'm sure you feel embarrassed, it was not exactly what you had planned! Do you think you can talk to your dh about your feelings? I'm certain he will reassure you. Please don't think you are alone. My dh has been very ill several times. He has soiled himself and our bed when the illness has been severe. My only thought has been to his comfort. Off with the bedding, clothes, bed bath, quick as a bunny...

He is still the same man I married, no change in how sexy I find him...

I hope you can put this behind you as soon as possible