Lesbian and locked into marriage - don't know where to turn

[LucyCostello]

Hi.. I can't believe I'm poring out my soul on the internet but there's literally NO-ONE in real life I can talk to about this. Anyway here goes: I'm a lesbian locked into a marriage. My husband is a lovely, friendly man, but that's the problem. He's a best friend, not a lover (and I never should have married him) and although raising my kids (D, boy, 5 and K, girl, 3) provides plenty of satisfaction for me, obviously men and women have needs. My own parents got divorced when I was 8 and I remember the pain it brought me: I can't do that to my kids. But sex with my husband is just not enjoyable to me as I am now. As the song lyirc goes, I just don't know what to do with myself.. anyway must dash now as D and K need dinner.

Lucy Costello (my ideal name lol, mine is far too boring)

does your husband know>? i presume not?

i think you should probably tell him. perhaps you could figure out a way of staying together for the children, but living separate lives?
otherwise i think that resentment will grow, and it could turn into a very sour relationship, which is just as likely to affect your children as a divorce is

Hi I would love to talk to you about your situation, I was in a similar one just around 18 months ago, I have a four year old son and was in a relationship with his father, I'm now out and have a girlfriend and have never been happier, I'm doing research on this kind of situation for my dissertation, if you are interested we could chat anonymously about it?

That would be amazing. How do you want to do it?

Hi Lucy. I went through the same thing a couple of years back,and I know it can be tough. If you want to chat,my e-mail add is [email protected]

Take care:-)

HI Guys,

Feel a bit better now I know I'm not the only one in this predicament! I married my best friend because I really wanted a family, he knew I was Bi and it didn't bother him, think he was hoping I'd lure women back to our house like in a cheesey movie! Anyway after our baby was born in October I realised I was actually gay and felt trapped in our marriage but I kept plodding on because I didn't want to hurt him. This is the best bit though, today I discovered that he has been picking up lovely young ladies on dodgy perv sex chat rooms for months behind my back!!!! I'm now kind of relieved and sad and don't really know what todo next, I moved along way to be with my husband so I don't know anyone or where I can go to meet like minded girls plus I have to endure taking my little chap to see his dad when i would much rather be inserting his laptop up his nose!!!

I'm so confused!

Any Ideas or moral support most welcome!

xx