Gay-friendly doctors in SW13?

[temm09]

We have very recently moved to Barnes and hooray! hooray! had our first positive pregnancy test yesterday! Now I need to find a new doctor - quickly! Wondering if there's anyone who lives around here who can recommend their GP? Or any tips for 'interviewing' GPs before registering? I've had a taste of healthcare officials who were not comfortable dealing with a lesbian, and obviously it's important to be comfortable with one's GP.

hi ya and congrats. Im going to my doc for the first time on tues, im not going to tell her. im 3mths nearly with twins(help)i know perhaps i should be more open and all. we live in ashford middx. good luck x

Wow twins! How amazing - and daunting, but amazing! Good luck!
Somehow there's always a question about my "boyfriend" or "husband" or my sex life that means my sexuality has to be revealed... I prefer to be open although you always have to be ready for the interesting reactions!

It depends where in Barnes you are
I would certainly recommend Dr Jukes (female) or Dr Tymens (male) or Dr Jezierski (male) at Sheen Lane but that may be out of your catchment area (if there is such a thing!).

Congratulations btw!

(oh I am not gay btw, I am only recommending them as decent human beings as it were)

You do surprise me with this.

So you are saying that Gp's can be unhelpful just because of your sexuality...really?

What have been your experiences?

(Are we in 1970?)

Yes I must say I was surprised too
My gay SIL had her dd in the mid 80s and I don't think she got any hassle

Thanks for the recommendation Countess Dracula.

My experience was with a medical examiner a few years ago when I had to be examined for an insurance policy. When she said she wouldn't bother with the cervical smear test and I asked why she retorted 'because you're GAY!' in a tone that said it all. There's always a moment when meeting a new doctor/nurse that you have to explain your situation because the normal assumption is that everyone is straight.

More than being gay-friendly, it's just good to have a recommendation of a friendly and good doctor, one who treats you like a person - you know, looks you in the eye, takes the time to explain things and doesn't rush you out the room!

I'm a bit nervous of entering the world of the NHS - up until now I've managed to avoid too much contact with it and all those horror stories that we hear in the news. But now it's like "I'm pregnant - time to hand myself over!" Everyone's experiences seem to tell a very impersonal story and I have a mental picture of all these inflated women wandering grubby hospital halls, fully dilated and trying to catch someone's attention whilst dealing with crippling cramps! I know I need to see a GP, and I'll then be referred to a midwife, but right now it's daunting and it would feel better if I knew I had someone friendly and caring as a starting point. Ah well, best thing is to just get registered and hope for the best. I called around a few surgeries yesterday to suss out how friendly and helpful the receptionists were!

Hi temme09, went to docs on tues. what a misery she was. i didnt tell her, just because i didnt want to. i think it was just her way, one of these people that is good at there job but just gets on with it. not a very good bed side manner. one receptionist was ok but the others(where do they get them from!) people are strange and they reckon its us HA.

Hi Sanfran, that's a shame about your doctor - and the receptionists. They seem to be fed up with you before you've even walked through the door! I'm going to go register today so I can get started...

which one did you choose in the end?

I went for the Glebe Road Surgery - they seem friendly enough, and is pretty close. Of course I have to wait a couple of days for my registration to be complete before I can see a doctor. Don't really feel pregnant so I find myself wondering if I've imagined it - then I remember my period still hasn't come and my BBT is still up. Oh and my boobs hurt and I can't stop yawning, so I guess I must be up the duff. Yay!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Yes, some GPs are still a pain in the arse for lesbians. When I was ttc I seemed to stop ovulating for a few months - was obviously concerned that I might be going through an early menopause, so went to the doctor. I told him I was ttc and worried I was hitting menopause and could I have a blood test, please. He was emphatic that he wouldn't help me get pregnant (because I am lesbian). I was just as emphatic back that I wasn't asking him to make me pregnant (as if!) or indeed for any sort of fertility treatment - I was asking for a blood test. Grudgingly, he referred me to the hospital - who promptly refused to see me because I am lesbian. Distinctly unamused, I wrote to the Chief Executive pointing out that I had approached the NHS for help because I had a set of symptoms that needed explaining and may indeed need some medical treatment. My GP had refused to even take a history or discuss the symptoms, as they were now doing, and so the NHS was failing in its duty of care to me.

The Chief Executive wrote back almost by return, apologising and saying my GP had written to them saying I was a lesbian who was requesting IVF.

I should have put in a complaint about him; he was a classic case of someone not able to see (or hear) beyond the fact of my sexuality. But I was feeling defeated and judged and had no fight left.

Thanks Hester... didn't take long! Feels way too early to be celebrating (I'm 5½ weeks) and actually I don't feel pregnant which I thought I would. I have had a few symptoms - the sore boobs, a few headaches and really, really tired in the evenings, but when I found out a week ago it was all I could think about and now I keep forgetting. Does not feel real!

That's awful to hear your story - people don't understand the prejudice you are open to as a lesbian, but it can still be real and it's awful to know that it can get in the way of getting the healthcare we may need. I'm still waiting for my registration to go through before I can make an appointment to see the doctor, so fingers are still crossed that I get a decent one. NHS here I come... ugh!

Hester - you have up to 5 years to complain about a doctor. Quote Good Medical Practice Paragraph 7
'..you must treat your patients with respect whatever their life choices & beliefs. You must not unfaitly discriminate against them by allowing your personal views to adversely affect your professional relationship with them or the treatment you provide or arrange'

Hurrah, after a week of waiting to be registered and then an hour and a half in the waiting room this morning, I have seen a lovely lady doctor! She was full of congratulations and as I was leaving said 'congratulations too to your partner or husband or whoever' and although seemed a bit surprised when I said 'my girlfriend actually' she asked if my girlfriend was also going to have a baby - she told me they have a lot of cases where both women have had babies. So where are all these women?!

Next is to choose a hospital - how? Choices are Kingston or Chelsea and Westminster. Any opinions?

Have just come back to this thread and want to say thankyou to Iklboo - I didn't know that; will definitely consider it.

temm09, great you have a nice doctor. In terms of your hospital choices, both of them are pretty good. I don't know much about Kingston, but its reputation is fairly good. I do know Chelsea & Westminster quite well. Its labour care is very good, but postnatal care is pretty awful (as is true of most London hospitals). Very high caesarean rates (nearly 35%!) if that matters to you. Both places will give you good clinical care.

Will you be getting your antenatal care from the hospital, or from your new GP?

Thanks for the info Hester. I've been pouring over the MN forums, various web pages, done the virtual tours and keep swinging between the two hospitals! One thing that sways me towards Kingston is there's more chance of getting parking and it's not in the congestion zone! Not a good reason to base my decision on! I'm supposed to let me GP know tomorrow which one I'm going for - pressure! Seems way too early to be stressing about hospitals, but will also be good to start my ante-natal care. I think I'll post on the childbirth board and get more opinions - personal recommendations are the best source of knowledge!

You'll be fine whichever you choose

Can't wait to read your birth announcement!

Congratulations temm09 and welcome to Barnes! Glad you have found a good doctor.

Thanks Hester for all your positivity! Birth announcement will be sent out with Christmas greetings! Oh and I didn't answer your question - antenatal care will be shared between my GP and midwife who actually comes to my GP's surgery - so hopefully there's more chance of having the same midwife.

Kitsilano - Thanks for the welcome - so you live around here too? Have you ever been to one of the 'West London lesbian mum' meets? (Assuming you are a lesbian mum?). We're definitely keen to meet up with other mums in the area... once this all starts to feel a bit more real!

I do live here and have two kids (4 and 17 months)but not a lesbian mum so haven't been to one of the meet ups. Happy to meet for a coffee though if you haven't met people yet and want to make contacts in the area. Barnes is lovely - and the perfect place to have a baby!

Thanks Kitsilano, that would be lovely! I will send you a CAT message.