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LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

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Original poster

I know you've heard it all before but....

19 replies

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 00:22

How did you know you were gay? Sorry

Ive been in a relationship with a girl before and it was great but because of peer pressure i went back to blokes so i was "normal" and im with a great male partner right now and have a baby and im pregnant but i cant stop thinking about girls. I was unfaithful to him a few weeks back with another girl and ive told him and he has said he doesnt want me to do it again unless he is involved but thats the thing, i dont want him to be!!!! Sorry just needed to let off steam!!

Gem x

OP posts:

fortyplus · 03/01/2009 00:26

Hi Gem - can't answer your question but thought I'd wish you a Happy New Year!

And bloody blokes... honestly - 'he doesnt want me to do it again unless he is involved' Course he doesn't! He wants to tell his mates all about it!

Ewe · 03/01/2009 00:27

Unfaithful is being unfaithful regardless of the sex of the other person, it is not excusable because you got with a girl instead of a man. I would seriously examine your relationship if I were you.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 03/01/2009 00:32

So maybe you're bisexual? Maybe you just need to go with what you feel is right?

But you do need to decide if you want a monogamous relationship. Because whatever gender you're with, being unfaithful can piss people off. He's having a lesbian fantasy, and that's only ok if you and he are up for a threesome. Maybe you just need to commit to one person, whatever sex they are.

Original poster

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 00:37

I know it doesnt excuse what i did, yes i was unfaithful and i feel bad about it but at least i told him about it. I really dont know what i want. I love him but dont fancy him or anything anymore if that makes sense. sorry.

OP posts:

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 03/01/2009 00:41

Do you love him? Sorry to be harsh but if you do, why did you sleep with someone else? Do you feel you need to love him because you're pregnant by him?

fortyplus · 03/01/2009 00:42

Surely you haven't known him lomg enough to say that you love him if you're already being unfaithful? He's not the father of the baby you're pg with now is he?

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 03/01/2009 00:44

Just spotted your other thread. You're having a really hard time right now. Let me read it properly... dont' know if I'll be able to say anything helpful but you do sound like you're having a tough time. Poor you.

Original poster

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 00:45

ive known him since we were kids. He was my best friend and we have been together for 5months and yes, he is the father of the baby i am carrying but not my little boy.

OP posts:

fortyplus · 03/01/2009 00:50

Hmmmm... ok so you're sure you love him. Maybe you are being drawn to women more at the moment because you're facing such a big upheaval in your life (ie another baby at such a young age with different dad) and women are a 'safe' option?

spookycharlotte121 · 03/01/2009 00:52

Maybe constructive answers would be better directed to the OP instead of criticism, she has admitted that what she did was wrong and is asking for advice not a lecture, shes having a tough time, give her a break!

Original poster

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 00:53

Ive been with women before like i said so its nothing new. Im just confused about where i really want to be at the moment.

OP posts:

spookycharlotte121 · 03/01/2009 00:56

maybe its something that you need to mull over? I mean it could result in a life changing decision.... you leaving you dp and choosing women? I would think it over carefully. You wuldnt want to make the wrong decision.
I think it might be a good idea for you to have an open discussion with your dp about things so he knows where he stands.

Original poster

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 01:04

Im definitely thinking about it loads and im not about to make any life changing decisions. Especially not the way my hormones are right now!!! Thanks for the advice. Sorry for bothering you all.

OP posts:

spookycharlotte121 · 03/01/2009 01:06

your not bothering anyone..... if you were bothing people then no one would bother to post and reply to you!!! Stop being silly

fortyplus · 03/01/2009 01:10

You're not bothering us! You've hit the nail on the head re: hormones affecting how you feel. If he's a lovely guy who you trust and he's the father of your baby then I'd stay away from women till after the birth and you can get your head sorted. It sounds like you're feeling very insecure at the moment

jellyjelly · 03/01/2009 13:51

I second the advice, stay away till after you have had your baby as hormones can make you do silly things.

I was bi, at the age of 15 and then went with blokes as that was expected. I tried to come out at 12 to my parents but was told 'dont be silly, no you are not' so I dated blokes. It never felt right.

I fell in love with my sons father and nearly got married to him too. It didnt happen - on his part. Am glad a yr and half later i came out and I have never felt so complete. I dont identify with being bi now as I really dont want guys and I am not pan either.

Whatever you chose think long and hard, its a lot more acceptiing nw to be gay than a few yrs ago.

Good luck.

Original poster

MummyToLeon · 03/01/2009 15:33

I started with women when i was 14 and thought i was bi but the feeling for women for got more and for men less. I will think long and hard about it. I need to try and speak to my partner, but im worried about his reaction.

OP posts:

honeybehappy · 04/01/2009 01:31

i thought you were 6 months pregnant?

honeybehappy · 04/01/2009 01:46

arghhh posted before i finished and then my puter broke

What i meant to say was.......

I thought you were 6 months pregnant and have a little baby already so maybe you are feeling confused about alot of stuff at the moment. Atleast you were honest with your DP about being unfaithfull.

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