Dating help

[Doodliedo]

Hoping this is right place to post. I have been openly part of the lgbt + community since I was 16 and identified as bisexual. Fast forward 16 more years and I am single parent to my 3 year old DD, who was born when I was engaged to her dad. I've been intimate with women before but I've dated men mainly due to living in a city that isn't very tolerant of people who are in any way different. I'm not entirely sure if my sexuality now but I don't wish to date men currently and have always felt more attracted to women. Id rather not live the rest my life alone though and want to try try and meet more women who are lgbt + in a safe space that isn't online. Please does anyone have any good advice?

When you say you want to meet lgbt+ women does that mean you’re interested in anyone who identifies as a woman, whether or not they’re female? Because meanings do make a difference here.

I'm not closed minded but would probably prefer it if the other person was a biological female too or someone who has fully transitioned.

What country/ city are you in OP? MeetUp has some good social group for LGB people including bookclubs and walking groups for women.

That’s mainly why I asked whether the OP was thinking of sex or gender - despite the Supreme Court act a lot of theoretically women only groups will still be mixed sex.

Hi, I've had a look on meet up but not had much success. I live in stoke on trent.

Being only attracted to biological females is close-minded now?? What?

It's okay to be bi, wanting to be only with women after being with men is very common for bi women, especially 30+. That doesn't erase your past or that you can fancy men.

You might have more luck with LGB groups in the nearest big city.

A lot of lesbian/bi groups accept trans women who identify as lesbians. Shouldn’t really make a difference, you don’t have to date them

On the flip side, I know at least a couple of lesbian groups that have had to go undercover because it’s the only way to stay women only.

i know you said not online OP, but there are a lot of gay & bi women on Hinge, it’s a very common way for for LGBT people especially, to meet each other

It really does make a difference.

Why though? Have you been to many lesbian groups with trans women in them? How does it affect you?

Because in recent times it could be said that if a trans identified male saw him self as a lesbian, and made it known he was attracted to you and you didn’t respond in kind, this would be seen as bigoted and you would be ostracised from the group?

They’re straight or bi men, ranging from the ones who almost pass until you look closely / hear them speak to the ones who are obviously male. Most of them will still have male genitals.

Was it that cyclist who said lesbians would ‘have to learn to cope with penises’?

Men don’t have any place in a lesbian group, regardless of how they identify. And you can try politely asking them to leave but then they’ll kick off & probably complain to the venue.

By the same logic, why are you searching for lgbt spaces? Just go to any space where you can meet people and try to chat to the women until you meet someone. You don't have to date the men, right? So how does it affect you if there's straight men in that space?

My basic rule is that the more letters in the acronym, the less it has to do with lesbians. I don’t go beyond LGB at the most.