Anxious

[RozziaaAngels]

Hi there. Are there any other two mum families on here that can ease my worries about being a same sex family, especially as my child starts school. I am a worrier, and anxious about any negativity from other parents/kids, or judgement at the school gates when I mention my wife, etc. I know a lot, if not most, people aren't like that and even if they are homophobic, they will tend to keep it to themselves, but...you never know!

From a teachers perspective, no judgement will be made from school staff. Also, most parents don’t talk to each other at pick up and drop off most of the time!

Thank you for your reply. There's a school in my area who are recognised as a Rainbow Flag School, so that has given me some comfort too!

2 mum family here with a DD starting school in September.
Absolutely share those same anxieties. When visiting schools we asked specifically about their inclusive policies, how children are taught about different types of damilies and what they would do if child experiences any bullying from other children. Responses were sort of generic, but it did give us a 'feeling' for which school we would prefer.
We've also been trying to gently introduce the idea that all families are different and not everyone understands that and sometimes people can be unkind- tell an grown up etc.
Infact recently she told us that a child in preschool and said she can only have a mum and dad which really shocked us. When we explored this I asked what she said back and she said 'I just said NO I have 2 mums'. Proud is an understatement- but did reinforce those worries about school! I think the best thing we can do is just to try and raise our child to be confident in their identity and have the language to defend that when challenged

Lesbian parent here, I used to share those worries but not anymore.

I know it's different, but try to equate it to other families who have unusual circumstances. Some straight families also are frowned upon, but that doesn't make them turn it inwards and feel like they have to anticipate hate or accomodate everyone else (like homophobes expect us to do). On the contrary, they expect their environment to accomodate them. Back in my home country I went through a period of time where I got picked on at school, the reason? My dad is "a foreigner". A lot of horrible and cruel things were said, but that never made me love my dad less or create any trauma - and believe me, the insults were pretty bad and in retrospect I'm surprised the teachers did absolutely nothing. He and the rest of the family never cared, which helped me internalize that it wasn't anything worth worrying about.

You have as much right to bring your kids to school as anyone else, don't let idiots tell you otherwise. If you feel calm and confident, your children will pick up on that, if you don't, they will too. Befriending other lesbian families has been great for us, I can't stress enough how essential that is.

Solidarity and all the best! x