Daughter taking testosterone

[genandtonic]

At 17 //2, Daughter ran off to be with trans partner - she’s a girl who has had puberty blockers at 15 and testosterone and is now 20. She seemed pleasant enough to my face but my daughter completely believed they have to keep their love secret, that society hates them etc. 🙄 on her 18th we got a nice text and then nothing. To say it’s been hard is an understatement. I hear very occasionally what she’s up to and the latest is that she’s taking testosterone as well. She’s now 20.
im horrified, im anxious, I can’t believe she is falling for this damaging irreversible treatment.
I know where the partners mum lives, we’ve been told not to contact - obviously my reaction is to go and ask what she thinks and to hopefully get her to see sense. She won’t of course and the whole family really supports the chemical pathway.
just asking for a hand hold really.

I am a bit confused by your post. Were both your daughter and her partner born female and are both now taking steps/drugs with the intention to become male ? Are they both now 20? If so I entirely sympathise with your situation but as they are both over 18 I can't see what you can do and if you contact the partner's family, when you have been specifically told not to then I can't see how that could in any way do anything but inflame the situation. Is there any other family members who your daughter feels is more willing to listen to her point of view and act as an intermediary? A siblings or an old school friend? I don't know what else to suggest.

Thankyou, yes both female and believe they are really male so want to make their bodies match that.
I don’t know what to do either.

At this point not affirming obviously hasn't worked. I'd be tempted to affirm to re-engage contact.