13 year with first girlfriend - am I doing the right thing?

[SamC84]

Hello,
First time posting here, so here it goes!

My 13 year old daughter came out as liking girls recently (although suspected for ages!). She is not sure whether she is bisexual or lesbian, so I said that she likes who she likes and she is young so don't stress about to try and put a label on it.

Anyway, she has recently got a girlfriend, who had been a friend for a while. They are super sweet together and spread a fair amount of time together. Her girlfriend had previously had sleepovers at our house, and my daughter has asked if she could stay round as well now she is her girlfriend. Well this has caused a little conundrum, as when my eldest daughter had a boyfriend at a similar age the answer was a definite no. But obviously with my youngest having a girlfriend unintended pregnancy isn't an issue. So my stance has been she can have sleepovers, but separate beds for when they actually go to sleep. I feel happy with this, but do you think this is reasonable?!?!?

I guess I am just wondering if anyone could share there experiences and what you did in similar situations.

I hope this makes sense, as just want to be supportive of my daughters relationship.

Hi I am another lesbian parent. We were in the same position as you some years ago. We did not allow this as both girls are under the age of consent. Both deserve the same treatment and safety as girls in a relationship with boys. As our D’s girlfriend was from several miles away and another city we insisted that if for any reason she needed to stay over they were not allowed to sleep in the same room. It’s important also to think of the safety and welfare of another child sleeping under your roof. Also, as a parent I think your maximum support is to treat her and her relationships as seriously as if she were dating a boy at such a young age. To be honest I think 13 is too young and my D was older. i just really feel that children who might grow up to be lesbian or gay should have the exact same safety standards and boundaries as any other child, and for me this means taking their emotional and physical safety seriously. Hope this helps

Hi just re read your post and realised as you posted in LGBT parents I assumed this meant you are an LGBT parent. Honestly, I think you can support her in her developing relationships while saying ‘no’ to what is inappropriate. I think having the same set of standards for her as for her sister shows that you are supporting her by treating her seriously, and teaching her how to look after her heart.