My child has come home saying that they identify as a wolf

[kateharrison23545]

I know that this may cause me to receive some backlash, but I am genuinely concerned for my child and their well-being.

My child, up until now has always been identified as a girl. She has always worn the stereotypical girly clothes, had the girly hairstyles, and has been friends with 90% girls. She is 13 and has recently begun seeing a boy in her year at school. Myself and my daughters Dad (my husband) met him and he seemed nice, quiet but we put that down to him being shy. They seemed to have a lot in common, though I haven't read too much into it as they are both only 13 and what type of relationship is serious at that age?

In the days after we first met this boy, my daughter began asking me questions regarding what I would do if she 'came out as something out of the ordinary'. I admit that I brushed this off as I was trying to finish marking my students' work and I did not have time for questions. My daughter asked my husband the same question and he replied with 'he doesn't understand what she is on about'. My daughter since this day has been acting strange, and my husband heard her refer to herself as 'the alpha' - prompting my husband to ask if she knew what that meant, allowing my daughter to respond with that they had been learning about wolves and evolution in animals in Biology. My daughter also added that her boyfriend was 'fascinated by wolves and often acts like one too'.

I have tried to dis encourage her to carry on seeing this boy, though I do not want to come across as controlling, and have her rebel against me. She tells me that her and this boy are a part of 'the pack' and that she now identifies as a wolf, wanting to wear a tail, ears, and a wolf mask.

Obviously, I do not agree with this behaviour whatsoever and I want her to completely stop what she is doing, my husband feels the exact same way as I do. But, how do I approach this without her rebelling against me?

I was prepared for all the usual teenage antics like potentially smoking, staying out late, underage drinking - all the things that every teenager does and I was prepared to handle. However, this is not something I could have seen coming. I have heard that this is common in some teenage groups and sometimes in adults too, though I am completely out of my depth.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Kate

I’d probably say ‘awww I love it when you play make believe. It’s like when you were 5 years old again. Yes we can all get wolf tails and play make believe together.’ Then take her phone off her and reset the WiFi password - wolves don’t need these things.

Wow, it's been so long since I posted on here! All of your comments and advice were so greatly appreciated, and a lot of it really helped. We live in such a strange time now, and things are certainly different from when I was a teenager

Now, I know you may think that this was cruel of me, but to put all of this wolf business to a stop, I consulted with my husband, and we decided that we would do the following:

• We took away her phone (a wolf doesn't need technology)
• She was originally vegetarian before she 'came out' as a wolf, so we began to only cook and put meat on her plate.
• We stopped her from seeing the boy she was friends with and contacted the school to keep them apart. We later found out that he had done this to several other girls, too.
• We stopped her from doing regular teenage girl things (shopping, cinema with friends, sleepovers), wolves don't do those sorts of things, so surely she wouldn't mind if she couldn't do them anymore!
• This last one was the make-or-break; we had a family holiday to Florida booked. We told her that if this business didn't stop, then she would not be going on holiday with us. She claimed that it was unfair, but we repeatedly told her that wolves were not allowed on flights, so if she was serious about her newfound identity, then she would have to stay home alone and fend for herself - much like a wolf does in the wild.

You may find me cruel, but this was the only way we could get this all to stop. Thankfully, things slowly went back to normal, and we haven't heard anything about it since. We regularly check her phone and social media, and she is to leave her phone downstairs every night before going to bed.
I do read all of your responses, so I would be grateful if you could let me know if you think my efforts were too harsh.

Many Thanks,
Kate