Thinking about IVF

[Stacey9292]

Hi,

Myself and my wife are gay and looking into recipricol IVF. As we are wanting it to be recipricol we would not be able to do this on the NHS.
I was just after peoples experiences with this as I'm unsure. There are some places abroad (Greece, Turkey etc) that seem cheaper but a concern of mine is legally in the UK a child would be able to find out who there bio donor is at 16 which I have no issue with. It would probably be beneficial for the child to know however, a lot of places abroad its fully anonymous. Am I overthinking this? Is it a big deal/issue if the child cant access info on there bio donor? Anybody git any experiences with any of this?
Were early stages of saving up for the treatment so at the moment it's just planning.

Thank you :)

It's a philosophy question really, do people who have an unknown/unknowable genetic parent have a worse life than those who can trace their biological ancestors? I don't think we know (if it was known to be definitely deleterious then I think it would not be allowed in any European country?)
fwiw we used the European sperm bank from denmark and a local fertility centre (with a local egg donor also in our case as both too old to have successfully used own eggs). Our little lad will be able to trace his donors when older, and we have descriptions of both with statements made by them of why they donated etc. we chose that really as a same sex couple there was no question of not using at least one donor, and once you've lost the dilemma of 'pretending' you are both the genetic parents that's not a big step. If it helps we both immediately felt a connection to our boy and feel very much he is ours, including my partner who neither gave birth nor genes to him
I don't think there is any best answer really
best of luck

We went IUI in the U.K. and used donors from UK clinics. 1. The cost was a fraction of IVF - each time it cost less than £2 k total for all tests, treatment, sperm etc 2. We agreed that our children should have the right to know their donor.
now we know many, many families like us, and feel that was absolutely the right decision.
If you don’t have any fertility issues, I would try IUI first. They time your ovulation exactly for insemination, and also give your follicles a ‘boost’ with some meds to give it the. Est chance of working.
Worked both times first times for us

Considering reciprocal IVF abroad vs. the UK involves balancing cost with legal and emotional factors about donor anonymity. In the UK, children can access donor information at 18, supporting identity and health history needs, while many places abroad offer anonymity. Reflect on what's important for your family, particularly regarding your child's future interest in their biological origins. Consulting with LGBTQ+ family groups and legal advice on parental rights can also be beneficial. Ultimately, choosing a path that aligns with your family values and the well-being of your future child is key. some of the top clinics abroad are: https://www.placidway.com/search-medical-centers/Fertility-Treatment/All/1

We have a daughter through reciprocal ivf and its such a beautiful way to do it. We both feel a really strong bond with her. So it would highly recommend it. We used donor sperm from abroad that giver our child the option to contact when she's older as we want her to have that choice. We never looked at using a clinic abroad, logistically it seemed like a nightmare, with so many appointments, blood tests, scans etc it would have been really disruptive to our lives and probably cost a lot more. We paid for a package deal with the ivf so we could have a limit on out spend and attempts I would highly recommend the clinic we used. They were great and very Inclusive.
PM me if you have any specific questions.
Its a tough but amazing journey. Best of luck to you both x