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LGBT parents

This board is primarily for those whose children have LGBTQ+ parents to share their personal experiences and advice.

Late bloomers? ‘New’ to it all?

1 reply

DonnaDaisies · 28/09/2022 00:49

Hi, I’m Donna, 42, four children, separated in 2018, divorced last year. Was married for 18 years. No other partners before or since. I realised I was definitely gay just this month! I think that qualifies as a late bloomer…?
There has never been time throughout my life to explore things for me. I had a very hard life until 2018 and now I have four incredible children who are braver than I could ever understand and whom I want to be just like when I grow up. 😁
This past year I’ve been taking more time to understand myself, my life and my aversion to men and every day for only a short while I am remembering signs I was actually gay throughout my whole life, with the help of the good side of the Internet which certainly wasn’t around in the 80’s/90s. I’m just wondering if there is anyone else who is or has been in this kind of situation? What did you find Particularly hard or easier than you first thought, To share a journey, for advice, or just to chat and share experiences. I am still figuring out what this means for me, for my children aged 12 to 19 who are open and confident and of whom some already have themselves figured out in this way, they’re blooming amazing young people and I would love to Be even half as happy as they are within themselves. I guess we’ll find out what’s in store hey.
Good luck and kindest thoughts to everyone out there ‘blooming’ late. Any genuinely kind discussion welcome and sought.
with kind regards
Donna

OP posts:
dailyfup · 06/10/2022 18:53

I am a late bloomer. I'm 45. I only just realized this year.
I met a woman and really fancied her. Everything clicked into place. Nothing has happened with her. She is with someone else. But it's made me realize the truth.

Like you, I can now see signs of being gay all through my life but I didn't quite twig what it was. There was always something "off" in my relationships with men. Never knew what it was. I've only had two LTR relationships. Never married. No kids.
Was a virgin until my early 30s because I felt ill at the thought of penetrative sex. I had done other things with men - but the whole penis thing was really a turn off. I then did have sex for the first time and it wasn't bad but couldn't really be bothered with it. It wasn't doing anything particularly for me.

I don't know what else to say really. I'm working through this. I don't know what will happen in the future but I do feel a sense of relief because I always knew there was something "not right" in my life but had no idea that it was connected with my sexuality. I've felt different since all this happened - more positive, more energy, more get up and go. And interestingly I've always been so unhappy with my appearance - felt I was ugly - but that has changed too. Self-esteem has really improved.

I would also be interested in hearing from others who have found themselves in the same position.

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