Trans top surgery traditions?

[babyrocket]

Hiya. My best friend is going to have top surgery soon and I'll be looking after him at my house during his recovery. Are there any traditions/ things people do when people get top surgery? I was thinking of getting him a card and present and arranging a little "comforts" box of snacks and toiletries for when he's here but are there any traditions that you know of that I could honour?

When i had surgery on my breasts, i had to sleep propped up, so maybe some pillows?

Just care for your friend. That's all that's needed. Don't worry about "traditions"

It's an entirely different rite of passage and one with a significant element of sadness there may even be regret later.

So be there, care for and love your friend. No matter what.

I dont think we can be sure of anything these days

Thank you for your thoughtful answers, I had forgotten that MN is a divided place on this topic but I completely respect that some people have strong opinions about this. I will certainly be using some of your suggestions!

I'm not sure how anyone can consider this something to celebrate, but certainly lots of care is called for.

Wow. I can't believe even in the LGBT section of mumsnet that everyone's awful. I hope your friends top surgery went OK op.

Not awful at all - reflective, sad, questioning, many posters helping after they have had to undergo such surgery for medical reasons and many helpful suggestions as to how to help. But celebration it as tradition I think not.

I have seen that alot of people who get double mastectomies as 'gender affriming care' often end up feeling extremely sad and regretful when they first look at the results. Then they feel confused as all the tik tok vidoes have told them they would be feeling 'euphoria' not shock and regret. If you are a good friend you will be there for them through these negative feelings, not try to minimise them or push them away. If you are an even better friend you might try to prevent your friend having an unreversible double masectomy that will mean they can never breastfeed.

I think the theory was that they seared the right breast so it wouldn't grow in order to shoot arrows without hindrance/ throw spears etc. but it's often debunked as a myth. Ancient forebarer of breast ironing.

What you suggested is cute but I don't know what you're on about honouring traditions 😂

I'm sorry your friend is so unhappy with her body she is having a double mastectomy.
Having cared for many women after surgery for breast cancer, I think it's obscene that surgeons will do this to healthy young women.

Mumsnet is full of transphobic arseholes. It’s sad that they’ve even made it to the LGBT section. I’m sorry you didn’t get decent advice, OP, sadly this probably isn’t the site for it as MNHQ allow transphobia and consider it different from other hate speech.

I’d celebrate getting these balloons off my front by purchasing lots of spaghetti strapped vest tops and wafting about in them without the need for support. Sounds heavenly.

Please could you share your gender affirming mastectomy traditions with us @FatGirlSwim . So we know what to do next time…..

I was going to write a snarky comment but thinking about it I just feel a bit panicky thinking of a (probably) young girl cutting off her breasts because of a mental illness. This is not right To go through this. And no-one is helping

Expressing concern about young women undergoing cosmetic surgery that destroys healthy functional organs, when no evidence exists that this improves long term happiness or mental health, is not transphobia.

This.

A woman can't even get a hysterectomy for actual, genuine health reasons but women with man feels can have perfectly healthy body parts and organs removed is obscene misogyny to me.

This.
Absolutely this.
What a sad state of affairs.
I feel so sorry that this is what it’s all become. Although the op was a year ago. We’re still wading through this minefield and it’s harming kids that need support and counselling NOT surgery

And women are still being vilified and treated like some kind of sub class

How does this relate to LGB parents?

Your friend is having their boobs chopped off. I'd get them lots of painkillers and a good boxed set to watch.,

This.

🥲

@FatGirlSwim first post was this

"literally no idea about 'traditions' but a bra/binder burning might feel apropos."

do you have a better suggestion as @Allthegoodnamesarechosen asked if you've got great tips don't keep them to yourself.

Or did you just want to swing by to call us names

Funky pigeon probably does a card of some sort.
😒

Yep 👍