Why won’t my six year old just get fucking dressed?

[SaveWaterDrinkGin]

Just that really.

I’ve tried it all. Not really looking for any solutions (unless anyone has a magic wand), just venting.

Because 99% of children around that age would rather do anything other than what they're supposed to be doing. My DD is 9 & still in this phase. Sigh.

Stop it being a battle. Take them out in their pyjamas for the next little while. Don't even mention getting dressed. I suspect peer pressure when others ask why they are in their pyjamas might work. Maybe not but worth a try?

Try skipping the getting dressed stage and shouting for them to get their shoes and coat on. Then act shocked when they say they are still in pjs. Normally works for my 6 yr old.

@ApolloandDaphne this is about the only thing I haven’t tried because it just wouldn’t work. She’s six, not two. Short of physically manhandling her out of the door in her pyjamas (which would just be creating a battle again but about something else) she wouldn’t do it, she’d want to go and get dressed. But it still wouldn’t give her enough motivation to do it quickly 🤯

Jesus @LegoCaltrops nooooo! 😭

It’s control.

Chill out. Christ. 6 is still so little. Have some patience

@VsgKitt wow, thanks for the insight 🙄

Does she choose her own clothes or do you lay them out? Could you give her some choices- these leggings or these shorts? Which of these two T-shirts? Etc. Don’t get het up if they don’t match! As long as they are clothes Always leave longer than you think you’ll need. When you feel you’re battling against the clock to leave at a certain time you’ll feel more stressed. When she first wakes up could she change from the PJs she’s slept in into a onesie or two piece lounge set, still comfy for the morning at home but if she won’t then get ready it’s more appropriate to leave the house in than PJs? Is there a character she likes that would motivate her to wear the clothing of- my 7yo DD loves Harry Potter and loves putting on leggings, T-shirt and hoodie with the Hogwarts logo etc on.

Can you reframe it? Rather than “can you get dressed?” Go with “it is time to get dressed, do you want to dress in the bathroom or the bedroom?”
“Do you want to wear X or Y?”
“Once you’re dressed do you want to bunny hop to the car or fly like an aeroplane?”

My 6 and 9yo are terrible at transitions. If I ask them to get dressed it's like world war 3, even if we're going somewhere fun for kids.

It works better when I give warnings and a timescale. I tell them we need to leave the house at x time today. You need to have brushed your teeth and washed your face then be dressed in shorts/T-shirt/leggings etc. I then ask Alexa to set reminders - so I'll say 'Alexa, remind us in 10 minutes to brush teeth'. Then they know they're on a countdown and it's not me nagging them.

I don't get involved in what they wear as long as it's practical for the activity. I set the final reminder for 'put shoes on' and hope that by that point everyone is ready to leave.

The nuclear option.

Pretend it is later than it is. Plan a fake activity out of the house that has to be cancelled because you're going to be too late now due to not being dressed. Even more effective is friend and their mum coming to pick you up for said activity then going without you two when the mum gets to the door and sees your child isn't ready. .

Thanks everyone who’s taken the time to post helpful advice. Unfortunately I’ve tried it all, I really was just venting. The only thing that works is me dressing her but at six years old I don’t think I should be doing that as she’s been physically capable of dressing herself since she was three, plus I have a four month old baby to deal with also. She likes helping to get the baby dressed but even the suggestion of ‘if you’re ready quickly you can help with the baby’ doesn’t work. This morning she was still stood there in her pants staring into space forty five minute after I first asked her (patiently, by the way in case you’re still here @VsgKitt) to get dressed because she ‘couldn’t stop thinking about gymnastics’. That sounds cute but in truth, as so many of you know, it’s beyond frustrating. At least I know I’m not alone 👍

Just save the battle and take them upstairs yourself and pass them there toothbrush, pass them their socks etc. I couldn’t be bothered with the fight.

I was still helping my child with dressing when he was 10 (ASD).

What helped was laying out clothes the night before
Just passing him stuff silently (don't make it a fun time)
Not stressing about it on non-school days but accepting that on school days I either got involved or we started the day with a row, which neither of us wanted.

She'll get there eventually but you need to give her no feedback or attention for not doing it - just get it done.

I tend to use the FOMO - ‘Ok DS that’s fine, I’ll go without you!’ And start fetching my coat and shoes and things. I would say that 8 times out of 10 that tends to galvanise him into action - I’ve never followed through on it yet, but one of these days I will!

I feel you, DD is 8 and this drives me mad. I can have been asking her to put on her school uniform for twenty minutes solid, and still find her sitting on a chair reading or faffing about not dressed. It’s awful 😣

All very relatable! Ours are just hopelessly distractable, 8 yo girl with ASD, and 5 yo boy with ADD. For him, the old counterwill kicks in, for the feeling of control. He hates school because he has to sit still too much, so the uniform is an unwelcome transition into something unpleasant.

Good luck - and hope the phase passes quickly!