Dd 16 wearing binder

[Nowineedadrink]

Hi, just need some advice..
Dd has been struggling with sexuality and identity and decided she would come out as non binary. She asked her friends to call her a non binary name, they told the teachers, the guidance teacher got involved and called me to recommend counselling at the local government run space for kids, going to the lgbt etc bit.
Luckily he told me, and we had a big chat. She’s admitted it’s all got too out of hand too quickly, she feels angry at guidance teacher for telling teachers and me.
More concerning is she has taken on an identity as gender binary but seems to be muddling it up with trans. She’s angry and upset that ‘people like us’ have been treated appallingly over time. She’s told me she is binding.
There seems to be a few non binary children at the school.
Like many mums I am happy to support, but can’t help thinking this is her being influenced and clinging on to something to explain to herself her dislike of her body changing. She is also dyslexic and has had roaccutane.
The councillor at the lbgt place seemed v sensible and said they encourage communication and provide a safe place for teen to explore.
I’m still wary.
Guidance teacher kept referring to her as her new name and said it’s probably too late to change it for the exam result s. Wtaf?
Does he not think it might be a phase that needs careful handling? He kept reminding me she’s 16 - so they should just agree to something so rapidly? Shouldn’t we be exploring it ?
Agh!
In case it’s relevant, I don’t mind what she is, I do mind if she’s being manipulated and hasn’t the maturity to realise.
Thanks

You are doing right by talking with her and having buying time as an strategy. Influence from well meaning friends is very high on the lives of teens. See what Lyly Maynard and others say about ROGD.

Also, in my experience the trans or non-binary label is helpful for a while to non confirming girls in particular (no pressure to be seen as pretty or feminine stereotypes that are over sexualised, popularity, ppl liking you as a defiant, etc).

I would explain binders are dangerous though and see if other options can help with hiding her changing body until she feels more comfortable. I’ve never understood why adult transwomen can have female penis but transmen cannot havemale breast. It feels like double standard and discriminatory about women.

Check safeschools alliance and transgendertrend.com for support with the school bits and patents in similar situations.

GCSE certificates can be changed back to birth name later if wished. School should have not proceeded without talking to you. Specially if your daughter is dyslexic. Get informed on the sites above and tell them.
Best for you two. Keep doing lots of outdoors things with your child and see this is Avery small part (maybe even a phase) of who they are.

Hi Terranean thank you very much for your measured informative reply. I’d Found gender dysphoria support network.com but didn’t know of these.
I find your second para very reassuring as well as the last one.
About it being a phase.
I think all the madness in the press was getting to me.
Thank you very much indeed.