Anyone around to help a late starter?

[Baggedybag]

I met and fell in love with a same sex partner at the ripe old age of 46. In spite of being really open, I have never had an attraction to another woman before and the whole thing has been a bit of a journey. We know news of our relationship will send ripples through our local 'pearl clutching' community and we aren't looking forward to being the source of gossip.
Has anyone else been through anything similar? A few friends and my ex-husband are aware and have been supportive but we are yet to tell our families.
Any wise words mumsnetters?

I don't have similar experience, but congratulations!

Do you have any thoughts on anywhere you might want to look for some less pearl clutchy community?

Do you have any sense of whether the rest of your families are likely to be supportive?

Do you have any gay or bi friends at all? Is this the first time for your partner too?

Thank you 😊

I do have some gay friends and feel that most of my family will be supportive (if a little surprised!) Friends-wise I'm going with the fact that people who aren't accepting won't stick around and that's their choice, I guess.

Partner's family will be trickier and she is quite concerned. Partner has always known she is gay and I suspect her family's attitude has played a big part in why she has remained 'in'.

I have to say my eyes have been well and truly opened re: the homophobia some gay couples experience. For example, as a straight woman, I had no idea that two women staying in a hotel would be an issue or might raise eyebrows and questions from staff, or that putting your arm round your partner could lead to being tutted at.

I also have a boss who is a gay man who speaks scathingly about lesbians...so that will be interesting.

For me, love is love and always has been. It's what I have taught my children and I hope that this will be what helps us all through this process. My GF has brought colour to my life and she is worth every challenge we face.

How lovely. I had my first lesbian relationship at 30.
It did cause a lot of gossip, just ride it out, someone else will be the new entertainment soon.

I'm now back with a fella which is much more boring for the local community ;)

But just do you and ignore the people chatting x

Hattie.

I'm comfortable with who I am but like most people don't really relish being the focus of attention! As you say I'll just have to ride it out.

Can I ask if you were attracted to women all along ? For me this is the first time ever and I cannot get my head around the fact it has taken 46 years!!! I certainly wasn't repressed - just have never met a woman who has had the kind of impact on me that my GF has!

My GF thinks you just fall in love with the person regardless, whilst my ex believes my sexuality has changed - I'm not sure either way! Interestingly, there are no other women that I fancy.

Anyone else in a similar boat?

Yes. I've always been attracted to women. I just got into a straight relationship as my first and we ended up staying together till 30. I just never had the opportunity.

My wife was adamant that she was 100% straight... until she met me when she was 30; we clicked in a way that neither of us expected 😊
She now has a far more fluid belief of sexuality and understands that it’s far more about the individual than the gender.
She has however also said that if we were to ever break up, that although she would be open to meeting a woman, she would almost certainly go back to dating men.